What is poetry? Well, I used to think I had some sort of idea and could at least distinguish a poem from ordinary prose when I saw one, but apparently such attitudes belong back in the Ark.
This, to me, is not a poem. But by the canons of modern taste, it sure is one! Some better and more astute critic referred to "chopped-up prose" in the context of modern poetry, and that is what this is (at least, to my eyes). Remove the line breaks, and you have a bog-standard piece for online space-filling. It'd fit perfectly in one of those cooking or hobby blogs where the producer is semi-professional and needs page scrolling to generate income, so they fill up the spaces with tons of reminiscences about Grandma in the kitchen on those summer/autumn/winter days cooking up the recipe, and tons of filler blah, until you eventually get to the recipe or knitting pattern or advice on how to embezzle from your employer.
I'm not expecting modern poetry to neatly rhyme and fit into the patterns of past poems, but I do at least expect a poem. Not a 'pome'.
Irish Linen, by Lane Shipsey
Pure Irish Linen
a phrase from long ago
woven into those plain tea-towels
that smoothed away wet suds
from Mother’s wedding set
Her good linen cloths
were kept to buff glass and china
or left safely in the drawer
while gaudier prints took on the grime
and stains of daily wear
I teased her for it then,
not knowing the grown-up equation
of good with expensive
And you didn’t buy Pure Irish Linen,
it was a thing you were given
A cloth spun and woven
from flax pulled and scutched
across the border, a fact on which
we did not dwell much, in Dublin
where we never called it Ulster linen
The words Pure, Irish, and Linen
no longer form an automatic cluster
Instead we buy the best fabrics we can muster
regardless of origin
whilst a machine blows our dishes dry.
As I said, remove the line breaks and you have a twee, faux-folksy piece of musings suitable for anything from a mommy blog to a chin-stroking piece on Norn Iron and how we down South approach it to a meditation on modern living and/or cottagecore aspirations, applicable for print or online media, traditional or social.
Edition version below and you look me in the eye and insist "No, that is a true real poem", I dare you.
"Pure Irish Linen" - a phrase from long ago, woven into those plain tea-towels that smoothed away wet suds from Mother’s wedding set. Her good linen cloths were kept to buff glass and china or left safely in the drawer while gaudier prints took on the grime and stains of daily wear.
I teased her for it then, not knowing the grown-up equation of "good" with "expensive". And you didn’t buy Pure Irish Linen, it was a thing you were given.
A cloth spun and woven from flax pulled and scutched across the border, a fact on which we did not dwell much in Dublin, where we never called it "Ulster" linen.
The words Pure, Irish, and Linen no longer form an automatic cluster. Instead, we buy the best fabrics we can muster regardless of origin, whilst a machine blows our dishes dry.
This has been a howl into the abyss on behalf of dinosaurs everywhere.
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Notes -
I skipped your introduction and read the poem first. I didn't check to see whether it was supposed to be an example of good or bad poetry until after I had finished it. It's a perfectly good poem—not outstanding—and it fits comfortably within the category of poetry. Removing the line breaks turns the poem into prose, but the resulting prose is hard to read because it is very information dense. The line breaks are not just there to be cute. They guide the reader to add pauses while reading to themselves or out loud. I imagine the pauses represent thoughts that lead into each other, as though the author is pausing to think of the next thing they are going to say to finish their sentence. Each line break is the transition to a new thought, and stringing them all together without line breaks makes the resulting prose hard to read. Normal prose has only one or two thoughts per sentence, while this poem has five thoughts per sentence.
You think? It reads to me more like the commonplaces of recipe and mommy blogging. 'Pull out some anecdote of childhood/family life; reference older female family member doing something, preferably invoking a tradition; bring it forward to today and me; put relevant Way We Live Now twist on it".
(1) I remember when Mum used to wash the good china (2) She used the wedding present linen for it and only for that, for ordinary dishwashing she used cheap polycotton (3) I didn't make the connection then but today as a grownup I realise why: 'good' meant 'expensive' and not for everyday (4) Today we have dishwashers! And buy products that come from all over the world! And can easily afford them so what was exotic or scarce in the past is now something to be had everyday, here follows my [recipe/other thing] with a modern take on the traditional version
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