The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
You did! I took your advice and you were correct. I still think that the position basically wound up being "compromise your integrity for the sake of friendship or don't". My choice was to compromise my integrity and I think it was the right now.
For what it's worth, I would adhere to a much, much more stringent standard of integrity when it comes to work. That quite literally comes from a place of privilege though - I can refuse something at work and replace a workplace quite easily, but replacing friends is pretty hard. In stark contrast, other people might place great value on their work or just feel like they aren't in a financial position to make a choice.
One additional asymmetry is that shutting up about something and leaving it be is easier than actively participating in something that you have a strong feeling against.
I think it’s important to just vocalize your opposition, perhaps more important than actively opposing. Protests are not effective because they harm a policy or regime, but because it lets other people know they oppose it. They already did, but now they know. Wrong policies thrive when the line is blurred between followers and supporters. They only remain in place if most people are assumed to be supporters, not followers. I think it’s completely counterproductive to act as a quiet supporter in public and turn into la resistance with the people you care about.
But again, maybe it's different people saying those things. Plus I’m really burnt out on the /r/relationships /r/AITA standard “dump him!” takes. Maybe we need less dumping, just people staying together, staying friends, not sacrificing another relationship on the altar of politics for some internet shrews.
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