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Wellness Wednesday for October 11, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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I certainly do; right after my last child was born. My wife was unconscious and not in the maternity room, but when I read that the emergency life-saving procedures she was undergoing still had about a 1% failure (i.e. death) rate I was more afraid than I've ever been.

one which is increasing

The fear seems to be increasing even as the risk decreases. Today the maternal mortality rate is 1/10000 for most people and a spike up to 1/100 is a rare emergency "crash cart" situation. The death rate from childbirth used to be around 1/100 for everyone, and somehow humanity just put up with that. My wife totally would have; she's much braver than me. Before the incident we'd already decided on permanent contraception to stop at three kids; she now regrets not rolling the dice for a fourth.