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Notes -
Yes.
Russell conjugations all the way down: He pressured her; you convinced her; I charmed her.
Regardless of the particular example and whether it be arranging the first date, having sex for the first time, or anything in between, the choice of verb to describe the same words and actions from a man can be determined and redetermined retroactively by a woman based on how she feels about the man at the time of the retroactive (re-)determination.
Women generally don't like to take ownership of their actions in the dating/courtship process. This kind of ambiguity, plausible deniability, and ret-conning of their Lived Experience is a feature, not a bug, and helps their ability to say "omg it just like happened" and protect their sense of Wonderfulness.
I think it's a feature, not a bug, in more ways than you're giving it credit for. Saying stuff that makes the other person slightly uncomfortable is an important component of flirting for both sexes. It's a way of testing the other person a little to see how they perform.
It's similar to how a job interviewer might ask "what are your three greatest weaknesses?" That's a completely batshit insane thing to ask in the context of a normal conversation, but it's typical in an interview. The point is to see how the other person responds to an uncomfortable question - can they stay focused and give a socially appropriate response instead of getting flustered?
A woman saying "I hate your first date idea" is basically the same thing. It's (often) not a literal statement. It's about seeing the quality of the response from the other person and communicating that she isn't desperate for a date. "You're scared you'll lose" is basically the same thing. It's a little jab back designed to get a reaction and communicate a certain sense of aloofness. It's a delicate dance because you have to push a little but not push too much, and everyone will screw it up at some point given a long enough timeframe.
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