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Wellness Wednesday for September 13, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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You were in the holding pattern too long so she pivoted to her boss. You had your chance, sounds like she moved on. Better for you, in the end, because you’re not dating a single-mother divorcé.

Besides, what does him being black have to do with it, is she or her husband black?

Besides, what does him being black have to do with it, is she or her husband black?

I knew someone would call me out for that. :)
I just added that detail as another reason he's cooler/more desirable than me. There's a perception in America, true or not, that black males are more desirable as lovers. I suppose I could credibly be accused of racism here, but I just wanted to spice up the story.
If you're interested in the races involved; I'm white, she and her husband are Mexican.

I should also say, I'm not opposed to dating a single-mother divorcé. I'd like to have kids myself, and having a partner that already knows how to raise a child I view as a benefit.

I just added that detail as another reason he's cooler/more desirable than me. There's a perception in America, true or not, that black males are more desirable as lovers.

This doesn’t pan out in the racial response/interest statistics from dating sites, which may be the best data we have. It is an element in pornography, considering you reference it as a tidbit to “spice” things up, it is more a porn-addict brain take than reality. White men receive the most attention on online dating, and you (white) seem to have been her primary interest prior to your failure to execute on her potential adultery.

I should also say, I'm not opposed to dating a single-mother divorcé. I'd like to have kids myself, and having a partner that already knows how to raise a child I view as a benefit.

At the risk of offense, I’d suggest you stop thinking like a woman and only date and marry a woman who can prioritize you and your first born child.