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Notes -
2 points:
1, I'm not so sure that this is a universal implication that people make about all men who have trouble dating. Rather, I think it's levied at specific communities of (mostly-online) men who complain about having trouble dating, or against men making specific types of complaints that pattern-match to rhetoric from those communities. And then there's a whole rabbit-hole of why people feel those communities are morally suspect, whether that's a fair judgement, whether that judgement is being applied overbroadly, etc.
2, As you point out, the first guess isn't a moral failing, it's a physical/social/economic failing ('fat basement-dwelling loser'). When it turns out that none of those explanations apply, it's natural that people would try to think of some other explanation for what is, after all, a surprising outcome statistically... and if none of physical, social, or economic failings are available as possible explanations, then yeah, some moral failing probably is one of the more likely remaining explanations.
Like, it's not surprising if someone can't succeed in basketball if they're not good at basketball and don't have the physical or mental attributes needed to succeed at it. If you then say 'no actually they're a 6'8" hugely gifted natural athlete with tons of self-discipline and determination and they were born with the resources and opportunities and support structures needed to focus on this and also they still can't make any headway' then at that point yeah you would start looking at less likely explanations for what is going on.
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