This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.
Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.
We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:
-
Shaming.
-
Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.
-
Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.
-
Recruiting for a cause.
-
Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.
In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:
-
Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.
-
Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.
-
Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.
-
Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.
On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
WFH is indeed not the silver bullet, although it does help. What's more interesting to me about WFH is what it allows for in terms of new possibilities.
The only real way to make raising a family make sense economically, without massive economic surplus or redistribution, is to live very closely beside people you trust enough to take care of your kids, and vice versa. Due to the fracturing of cities and dense communities into suburbs, as well as the hypermobile youth culture in the U.S., many young parents lost this close and tight knit group of fellows.
However with WFH becoming more standardized, it is far more feasible than any time in the past to have groups of like minded adults move into a neighborhood together, and build some of these communities. It will be difficult perhaps to convince like minded adults without some sort of coordinating framework like religion, but it is certainly possible. If birth rates continue to crater I suspect this type of situation will be the only way that non-religious cultures will survive the next century or so.
I agree with all your points. I traveled for work a lot before I settled down so I got that out of my system early fortunately. I thankfully had the foresight to know how much I would have to rely on my parents or my wives parents for childcare help and I moved equidistant between the two families. However as you have highlighted its important to be very close. Both of our families live about an hour away and while its manageable for them to come over (or vice-versa) every now and then, it becomes burdensome for any sustained period. It's only about an hour so maybe I am just being picky but I feel like that's right on the border of convenience for distance.
+1 on the young family commune though. We live mostly by retired boomers and the only young couple around so it would be nice to have others close by. My wife has been reaching out actually to other moms she buys used toys and clothes from on facebook marketplace for play dates so I am hopeful we can have other young family friends soon. We're also joining the catholic church so we're trying.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link