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CSpitz  1yr ago (text post)   3226 thread views

Married guys of The Motte, where are your wives hanging out and can I join in?

I’m looking to find out where I can meet other women/moms who value rationalist-style discourse, but are more interested in kids, family, community, and home than in Motte discussions these days.

I’m a long time Motte lurker with a deep respect for the tenets of this forum. I crave more of this type of discourse. The issue is, I’m a stay-at-home mom now and I’m choosing to spend my time elsewhere (kids, community-building, garden, etc). Most of my exposure to this community is now through my husband (who forwards me the quality contributions he thinks I’d like), and honestly I’m generally more interested in topics that relate closer to my daily life these days anyway. (e.g. I'm very interested in Culture War stuff, but with more of a focus on "how the heck do I raise my kids in the middle of this Culture War?")

I’m wondering whether I can somehow connect with other moms (maybe wives of Motte members?) who are similarly lurking but who’d enjoy Motte-style discourse a lot more than the kinds of discourse I’ve been finding on more-mainstream kinds of online mommy groups (ugh).

TL;DR Seeking moms who love the rationalist ethos, but are busy doing mom stuff.

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I don't think a thread specifically for women would be a good idea. But I think it might be a good idea to have a thread focused on homesteading-related topics. A thread, maybe monthly to compensate for lower volume at first, focused on practical discussion and advice on stuff like preparing and preserving food, review and repairs of home appliances, childcare and education, building local tightly-knit communities, etc.

I'd love that. I think this forum is generally good at offering practical advice.

Ooh, now that sounds like an appealing niche. I’d be very curious to see how much crossover there is within the community, vs how many people would ask, “wtf, why?” (I’d also love to see the motte’s uber-nerds discuss homesteading. That sounds hilarious but ultimately very wholesome.)

I’d worry about this being an out-of-left-field imposition on the space. Is there any precedent for that kind of thing here, or would it need its own space?

I wish I knew a good word for this idea… It feels like there’s something many of us feel is missing. It has something to do with tighter-knit in-person communities, nature, working with our hands, etc… but forming communes feels like a weird, risky thing to do, and we don’t want to actually leave the miracles of the modern era. (I loved the essay, “Why Tradwives aren’t Trad Enough, by Mary Harrington”. She had some very neat thoughts on this topic.)

Well I'm not in charge here or anything, but I don't think the mods/admins would mind as long as such threads abided by the same rules as the rest of the board. I might follow along myself - I'm a urban dweller right now, about the opposite, but I do find myself interested in such lifestyles.

There does seem to me to be some meat to the idea that we're meant to thrive in more connected communities. That's probably a good topic for discussion in the main thread, or one of the alternates, or something. I do sometimes find the main thread a bit fast-paced for my tastes for actually participating.

This idea has me curious now. I’m going to roll this around in my head a bit and see what comes out. It feels like there might be something there, but I’ll have to put some thought into what the coherent starting elements might be…

Where does this nebula of largely disconnected ideas come together? Is it community building? Homesteading would seem to fly against that at face value (though I think there are good arguements to be made for its being very much in the spirit of community building). I feel like network states have a place in this umbrella too. And the “back to basics” elements are interesting, but might be down more to personal preference and interest than inherent features of this larger theme. That feels like an important aspect, but a messy place to not get bogged down in unnecessarily.

Now I feel like I’m talking out of my butt. Does anyone else have any insights to share?

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