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Small-Scale Question Sunday for July 16, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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Isn't this an extremely common religious view? It's exactly what many a Catholic priest or Orthodox rabbi would say to you.

Hypocrisy is something to be aware of. It's a fact of life and one of the necessary copes, I'd say, but it does not generally endear you to your peers and it is therefore, on some level, antisocial behavior.

I don't think the average modern secular man is capable of judging a woman's bodycount well, at least provided he lives in a city, is dating someone over 21 and can't do a full background check with childhood friends, classmates, college friends etc. A lot of the women I know who've slept around a lot had like one three or six month phase of sleeping with a large number of men in a single summer or study abroad or college semester or gap year or something when they were 19, even people who knew them quite well might not know the full extent unless they're very close female friends, who probably aren't going to spill to her new boyfriend.

So to me, the logic for many men would be something like :

"Unless I become a very trad Mormon (or equivalent) and commit to dating and trying to marry a 19 year old of good provenance (which, by the way, is very hard as a Mormon/Orthodox Jew/Tradcath etc if you're over 22/23 and didn't grow up in those traditions), I will probably have very little way of knowing what my wife's real bodycount is, and (if she's somewhat intelligent and it's high) she'll probably only tell me what I want to hear".

It's kind of like the "have you ever fucked a hooker?" question for men asked by their girlfriend/wife. Unless he thinks she's trying to set up a threesome with an escort, there is literally no reason for him to answer this question with a 'yes', whatever the truth. Women are mostly smart enough to know what men want to hear on the bodycount question and will lie where necessary accordingly. Maybe it's better, then, to convince yourself it's less important? I don't know.