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Wellness Wednesday for June 21, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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I sometimes wish it was still in style to. I'm in a purple metro and took public transportation for quite a while.

I never had anyone be outright rude when I offered a seat, but I did have women refuse to take it until another man would sit down, so I stopped offering.

I've also only ever had one rude door-opening experience in my life. I think the secret is to, with body language, ensure the person knows that the open door or vacated seat is provided without any expectation. As @raggedy_anthem mentioned, a polite thank you or smile is awesome, but mentally expecting those things will be picked up by anyone you're being a gentlemen to.

My wife got a noticeable uptick in this behavior when pregnant which I think is most appropriate.

The bottom line is I think that the "mean, ungrateful feminist bitch" is still mostly a boogeyman in my neck of the woods. But in NY or Cali I don't know what the balance is.