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PaperclipPerfector  1yr ago (text post)   3515 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for June 18, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

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When listening to someone speak, do you tend to look at eyes or at the mouth?

People who maintain permanent eye contact always come off as very creepy autists who watched a YouTube video about how to talk to people. I think the norm is that you want some eye contact to come across as more trustworthy and less shifty, but then also look away, look past them, focus on the mouth or head, generally don't appear to be staring at your interlocutor.

People who get eye contact wrong come off as autistic, because it's a classic symptom of autism. But they can get it wrong by having too much or too little.

The correct amount of eye contact varies by culture. New Yorkers make remarkably little, and Irish tend to make quite a lot. I was showing a crew of New York Jews around Dublin last year for a wedding, and the eye contact differential was striking

Mouth, instinctively. When I realise I'm looking at their mouth I make a conscious effort to look in their eyes.

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