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Culture War Roundup for the week of June 12, 2023

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alternatively, knowing that your dad is gone because of the impersonal, unavoidably tragic nature of the world does a lot less damage to a kid, relative to knowing that your dad is gone because he looked at you and your mom, and chose to throw you away.

It's possible, but one could easily reframe and pose a just-so story the other way around too: that knowing your father was ripped away from your life and is forever done and gone because of the cruel, cosmically unfair nature of the universe does a lot more damage to a kid—relative to knowing that pa has been absent because ma and pa don't get along, but time heals all wounds so he could come back for you someday.

I've never had a spouse die, but I have been divorced. All else being equal, I'm pretty sure having a spouse die would hurt less.

For spouses I'm sure, as spousal death doesn't include a lengthy, bitter, expensive court battle, losing half your stuff, and possibly paying alimony after. Many married people even choose homicide over divorce. It's "til death do us part" and not "til death or divorce do us part" after all, where the former is even considered romantic. However, for children, I'm fairly certain most of them would rather that their parents get divorced than have one of them die.