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How old are you? How old are the women you're interested in? What are they like? What path do you want the relationship to follow? Do you mostly want a girlfriend, or a wife? Would you consider having children in the next 5 years or so?
I mostly know more socially conservative women who want marriage or breakup within maybe a year of dating, and sex is not on the table until some commitment threshold has been crossed, much farther along the relationship than the first or second date. They are not on dating apps -- dating apps have a reputation of leading to pressure for sex sooner than they prefer, and difficulty establishing commitment. They meet potential husbands through hobby or religious in-person activities.
Sample size of 1: I (a woman) personally dislike branded clothing, including t-shirts with shows or hobbies or words of any kind, unless they're about half an inch high. But who knows, maybe you'll bond over your favorite band or something, this is not general advice.
If you have trouble with intense dates where you're just eating and staring at each other, consider some more active dates. I enjoyed walks in nature (interesting nature, with waterfalls), visiting places of historical interest, and moderate effort bar hopping, following happy hours around. It's creepy to be too intense about expressing interest, but it's fun to be invited to do something interesting with the message that the man wants to do it with you, in particular.
So does literally everyone that I've ever met that's worth hanging around. I think this is just good advice in general. Dinner is great with close friends, but nature hikes and some light drinking is better for new friends, romantic or not.
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