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PaperclipPerfector  1yr ago (text post)   4278 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for May 14, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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Advice seems highly contextual based on the type of person you and she are, so it seems like a bit of a fool's game to try and give you specific tips. I personally wouldn't worry about 'things' like the cooler, etc - I think you're already ahead of the game if you're at that level of detail. It's probably going to be more about the conversation and who you are - be self-confident without being domineering, try and ask questions until she's talking about something she's passionate about and be interested in it, don't come on too strongly. The classical FORD (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams) don't RAPE (Religion, Abortion, Politics, Economics) worked well for me once upon a time.

Just relax and enjoy yourself, you got this :)

Any filler questions that have worked well for you in a conversation lull? Some I’ve used to good effect are:

-what’s your most controversial opinion?

-what’s your worst non-traumatic date experience?

I always liked:

  1. What do you like to do for fun/what to do get up to in your free time? Everyone is excited about something, it's just about finding out what it is. One person got awkward and said something canned about netflix, but when I started talking about houses her face lit up and she went on at length about the real estate market. IMO it's less about filler questions and more about fishing for that thing they're passionate about and then showing interest.

  2. What books are you reading/have you read lately?

  3. Sometimes I'd try to have random pop culture stuff to bring up if it's good for a laugh...like when Tiger King was a big thing, if you could to it organically could be good for a laugh and bonding moment. Crazy thing local sports team did, funny local city thing (where were you when the local train caught fire?), etc.

What do you like to do for fun/what to do get up to in your free time

I don't like this question since I spend my free time doing low-status things :)

I’ve tried the “make up stories about strangers” game but did not consider this more risque version, great suggestion

Wow you are much braver than me, I’ve never said anything like this unless a girl specifically alluded to us having sex. But kissing was heavily implied on the dating app convo.

You consider that anoydyne? I would certainly never try that unless the "date" is just a booty call. Think you've gotta be pretty masculine for that to work.

Yes, I would be extremely put off by either of these suggestions. God, I am so glad I don't have to date anymore.

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