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Notes -
There's a massive difference between 'casual sex is more appealing to men than women, and thus easier for women to get' and 'women have a 20% advantage in generic social situations' ... and "lovecraftian horror story". Women find it hard to wrap their head around the male dating experience, but not the male experience with life in general, both genders still pay taxes, get jobs, help their friends out when their friends are in trouble, etc.
I assume that the "lovecraftian horror story" is trying to gesture at the idea/stereotype that women find a lot of meaning in their relationships, and that they would be horrified if they had to go down to the male-norm level of social acceptance and connectedness. That said, I agree that "lovecraftian horror story" is absolutely preposterous and absurd.
But surely the problem with women empathising about "the male experience with life in general" is that yes, both men and women pay taxes, get jobs, help their friends out...but - even if it is not as stark as the extent it is in dating, there is still a significant qualitative difference in treatment precisely in the "get jobs, help their friends out". Maybe even the "pay taxes" bit!
Like, the experience of a woman complaining about working overtime is often qualitatively different from the experience of a man complaining about the same. Or the experience of a woman getting scammed vs a man getting scammed. Or a woman asking for help with moving vs a man asking for help. Or a woman getting raped vs a man getting raped. Or reactions to women having their locker room talk (my god, some women talk about men like meat from a deli) versus men for the same. Or even simple courtesies by strangers like holding the door open for you. Or people complimenting women vs complimenting men. Or disparities in divorce, or how if a man and a woman - in a relationship or not - have an argument who looks more sympathetic at first glance (all else being equal), ...
(I also find that male friend groups tend to be kind of shit at social support, as well. I have no clue how to fix this.)
Anecdotally, I've actually had pretty good dating experiences in general (compared to most/all other men I know), and I've seen see the stark contrast in empathy more outside of dating than in it (e.g. in a job environment, in education, with acquaintences, ...).
It's that sort of general empathy deficit/invisibility and poorer social support, spread throughout the entirety of social life and interaction for men, that normie women don't tend to grok. That "20% advantage in generic social situations" is precisely what women find difficult to wrap their head around not having.
Imagine walking down the street, and knowing that not in a single house there is a door open to you, except for the one you pay for. That not a single person you see will recognise you or say a thing to you. Imagine not having the social skills to engage, and any attempts you make being below the social skill threshold where the other person engages back.
It's not simply a +20%. It's a +1, and then +20%. The 1 is the lowest value level where people tolerate your presence. As a man, if your value is low enough, people will simply not tolerate your presence. Not many people experience this, including men, because their value is normally higher than 1. However, if your value is lower than '1,' people will be like 'get this guy out of here.' Simply dressing well and looking good is not enough - there is also a social skills component and other components to this.
Be default, as a man your value is 0.
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