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Notes -
I do think it applies to "groomer" as well, and the people who call others "groomers" for advocating for minors to take steps towards transitioning, particularly in-secret-from/overruling their parents may very well be successful in their (re)defining of the term. Who knows how it will play out; certainly it's being pushed back on heavily, not least because "groomer" is a slightly more generic word than "transphobia."
This is a fair point, and the other half about how they're understood is something I didn't consider properly above. What I think is happening is that the people using that term are relying on the inertia of the term to get the people who listen to the term to experience negative affect from the term. That is, when someone hears "-phobia," it automatically triggers a sense of observing some sort of irrational/severe fear, hatred, or bigotry, and the people using the term are relying on this. However, the actual concrete thing that they're describing do not fit those things; they're merely things like disagreeing that trans women are real women. This is probably an intentional tactic, learned from observing the success of similar usage of other terms like "misogyny" or "white supremacy" in similar ways. As they say, the market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent, and so they're able to bankrupt plenty of their perceived enemies along the way while the market sorts itself out and figures out what they actually mean when they use these terms.
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