The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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It's so funny you say that because time and time again I find myself thinking that male-male relationships are universally fatally flawed (I'm a gay man) and to hear someone say the same about male-female relationships makes me question my priors regarding gay relationships. I think at the end of the day every relationship is going to require compromise and this compromise can make things seem less than ideal but it's just the best we've come up with so far.
As for the rest of your comment, I hate to sound like a broken record on these threads, but develop self esteem and learn gratitude for what you have and try to cultivate a charitable mindset that's realistic. Look at what you have that other people envy. Learn to appreciate it. When I imagine someone with something I want, and that they're miserable, it makes me hate that person. Don't be that person. Be the person who has what others want, and are grateful and happy for having it, not miserable that you don't have something slightly better.
You spiraled into self doubt when your partner was 30 minutes late because you are insecure in your ability to respond with grace and kindness toward yourself so you project it onto those around you. It is an immature and out of touch reaction so you should aim not to respond in immature and out of touch ways. When you are able to forgive yourself you can forgive those around you as well.
You wanted your relationship to fix the problems in your own mind, and when you brought someone into your life, she didn't fix them because you didn't have them worked out previously. She just highlighted your problems. Fix your inner issues on your own and then you'll be secure enough to have a woman who is fully human, as all women are, and not your imagined ideal of a woman who can fix every issue within you who doesn't exist.
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