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Culture War Roundup for the week of March 13, 2023

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To be fair, relationships in history also had to deal with one or both sides becoming unsatisfied, but the lust-focus of modern marriages make them particularly susceptible to problems compared to the more contractual marriages of history.

I'd add that it was typical in the past, for most classes, to keep producing children until at least you had grandchildren. If a marriage is primarily focused on somehow managing to produce a good number of children to survive to adulthood and support you in your old age, then you just don't have much time go worry about whether or not your marriage is satisfying. You're too worried about stopping Little Tommy from dying from tuberculosis.

More recently, the idea that your partner is supposed to be "your best friend" (and for some men, their only close friend) also seems damaging. Expecting one person to be an emotional, sexual, reproductive, and financial principal partner is naturally going to have a high failure rate. Contexts where husbands and wives can hang out with people outside their marriage, without fear of cheating (because they'll be in single-sex spaces) are an underrated feature of most (all?) traditional societies. Bridge-clubs/knitting circles for women and bowling/golfing/etc. for men had an underrated function. AFAICT, my most happily married friends are those who have kept up e.g. dog-walking with their gal-pals or footie games with their mates.