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Notes -
3 parts:
A difficult quality to articulate, like: At least one passion/interest which she develops/works on/improves (can be chemistry "i love cute chemicals", dog training, old philology, horses...) / having agency / a serious about life, making active long term decisions (this leads to many things, like a good role model for kids, understanding cause and effect, to give kids a good mindset, so she isn't boring herself, so I don't feel guilty concentrating on something for hours because she has things to do too...)
in context of the above, the desire to also build a family, execute on some sort of plan etc. ...forever! So linking my own agency with another, whereas most seem to either not have any agency/selfstarterness or
also boobs, because I'm shallow
From 20-24 I wasn't mature enough to take basic steps and missed out on a few jewels, who then got married etc. shortly there after. Then I ran into some trainwrecks who failed on the 2nd point / misrepresented their goals or own position (went so far as to stay with a girl's family for a month, planned many things out... then she ghosted me for her wedding with the neighbor guy, her parents wanted her to marry since they were 12, who she quickly divorced...) But I've definitely met hundreds of perfect people, and some dozens who were actually in a position to be in a relationship etc. I just dropped the ball a lot. To some extent, at 30 I'm now scared that "everyone" is now TikTok addled and unable to truly make such a commitment. At least, it's much harder to find lovely people than 10 years ago. (Central Europe) In Latin America, I've met 2-3 people ever who would fit - all taken already or such.
The first point can often perhaps go too far, where it turns into anti-familiness etc.
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