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Is finding a mate a priority or not? If it's not a priority, it probably won't happen. If it is a priority, obstacles can be overcome. It seems to me that a lot of single men approach this from the perspective of "it'd be nice if I found the perfect woman, otherwise no thanks". But in the first place there are no perfect women (or men either), and in the second place, being in a healthy, committed relationship is incredibly beneficial, in a way that I think a lot of men don't realize until they've had it. Certainly the modern world does not often grant single men the experience of being cared for and valued as a person.
Assuming that finding a mate is a priority, the two questions that follow are first how to be a worthwhile mate yourself, and then how to find a worthwhile mate. Ideally, one wants a selection mechanism better than "someone I'm willing to have sex with/is willing to have sex with me, at least once." What is more desirable is a good person to share one's life with, and of course the possession of enough goodness oneself that a good person would be interested in sharing a life together. Since it is lives at stake, you want something that penetrates through the surface detail and into the core of identity, worldview, lifestyle. You want people who make thinking long-term and being responsible part of their core identity. Such places exist, so if you're dissatisfied with the quality of the women in your social circles, why are those your social circles in the first place?
If one is an outspoken racial ideologue, that's probably going to be a hard pass for most women. But why is being an outspoken racial ideologue necessary? Sticking rigidly to the evidence and disdaining theorizing, maintaining a humble admission that one can be wrong, appealing to evidence on the defense and refraining from actively pushing the issue is likely plenty, and all of these are good practice in any case, because HBD is not a terribly actionable worldview.
If your intellectual pursuits interfere with the process of gaining and keeping a family, they're probably not worth it. A family of one's own is immensely valuable, far beyond what theory can provide. Almost all theories will be irrelevant in a decade at the most. Family will shape and enrich your life till the day you die, and then continue shaping the world on and on long after you have returned to the dust.
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