site banner
naraburns  nihil supernum  1yr ago (text post)   3303 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for February 3, 2023

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

5
Top Bottom Old Controversial Comments
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I've got a plan to dip my toe into salsa classes and other non-formal partner dances. What's holding me back is I'm making a concerted effort to clear out the backlog of loose ends accumulated from sub-diligent general living before I take up new projects and hobbies.

The primary reason I want to try partner dancing is that I've spent years going to clubs, parties, raves, festivals and other gigs and I'm fed up of the atomisation and informality. No matter the size of the crowd or the style of the music the audience were 99% locked in to focusing on the performer over the music or the other attendees, and any dancing that did happen was either self-conscious freestyling, lesser or greater degrees of going berserk, or thinly veiled dry humping.

Since you're here and it sounds like you've got some breadth of experience, how would you describe the differences in the type of people who are involved with the different styles? Any hobby drama or other funny/memorable stories?

Since I live in a university-town, all the dance scenes in the city trend fairly young, although there are definitely social differences. Salsa has more (continential) Europeans, Kizomba has more African men and 'curvy' women, the Lindy Hop scene is apparently a collection of polyamorous bisexuals, Forro has a lot of Brazilians and Portuguese.

The Latin scene is relatively drama-free, I would say.

Assuming that you're male, I can say that women love a man that can dance. Dance scenes are generally female-heavy as well so it's a great place to meet women if you can get reasonably competent (which does take time).

I notice you've put curvy in scare quotes, lol. Meeting women is a secondary but admittedly conscious goal. Nonetheless dancing is fun for its own sake. As I said it's mostly to find events that have the more structured socialising, structured steps and the different expectations that follow from that - you can't dance for a minute with a new partner and not meet them, but you can dance in a crowd for an hour and meet nobody but the barman. The gender imbalance is another drawback of all of the music-first scenes I've been around. I've lost count of the amount of times I've done a quick head count and found an 8-1 men to women ratio.

I'd be happy to try out most styles just for fun, the only ones I'd avoid are the high tempo, highly athletic ones that reward lifts and dives and suchlike.

Hah I have a ton of stories. From my experience on east coast US, Latin style dances are generally a bit more conservative and can have an element of snobbishness or elitism for new leads. A lot of competing for female attention.

Blues is the most left or woke and is harder to get into because it’s all freestyle. If you’re generally more traditional I’d recommend learning east or west coast swing, maybe trying both and going with your preference. West coast tends to have more modern music and younger folks though.

Best memories of dance are at the weekend exchanges/competitions. I’ve danced naked at a campground shower with beautiful women, stayed up until 8am dancing the whole time then getting breakfast, hooked up with women I had just met dancing that night, competed and won grants for hundreds of dollars to go to dance camps, it goes on and on. If you can find a group of close friends to travel with to these events I’d highly recommend it, easily some of the best times of my life.

That being said there’s also a ton of drama. I’d definitely avoid sleeping with too many people or dating around too much initially unless you know the person well and are serious about them. It can get real awkward and partner dance communities are somewhat small/insular unless you’re in a huge metro area.

I think the best part of dance for me though is the confidence it brings you. As a man, dancing regularly really changed the way I walk, carry myself, and interact with people, especially women. It helped me connect with my physical side which is something I find seriously lacking in modern society.

It kills me how woke the blues scenes became. I have many years of treasured memories, but my political positions stayed fixed while everyone else's moved, and it's hard to express oneself freely while also biting one's tongue all the time.

Yeah it's been pretty insane here. Big reason I don't do blues anymore. My local scene is still requiring N95 masks to go to any event...

Even after the Cochrane paper? Jeez.

I don’t think science is motivating them at this point.

Competing for female attention in latin dance totally fits my model. Here's my completely uninformed stereotypes of open classes (I assume the competitive level acts as a filter), please correct or confirm.

Rock'n'roll/Ceroc/Lindyhop: High metabolism neurodivergents with that weird blend of woke politics and retro aesthetics.

Salsa/swing: Casual singles. Divorcees dancing with unmarried tech workers and suave manlets.

Kizomba: As above but the divorcees are older, hornier and outnumber the men who are scared off by the more direct sensuality.

Tango: Trad types who like rules and following them. Etiquettists.

Ballroom: More stable relationshippers, enjoy the glamour, inclined to take the activity seriously and with all the conflicts that follow.

Street: DDR variety Asians, retired b-boys, female actual-dance-students polishing their moves.

Not sneering, I could probably fit in with nearly all of them to some degree.

Given that the activity involves dancing all night how pervasive are drugs? What's the drinking culture like? I guess the need to both be coordinated and coordinate with another person puts a natural ceiling on that aspect.

Drugs are mainly just booze and some pot. Most people are sober though as far as I can tell, albeit I’m usually drunk. People don’t care as long as you’re a solid dancer, although smoking and smelling like cigs/pot is usually frowned upon.

These seem to check out for me. I’ll add that ballroom, blues and lindy tend to have an older crowd.

Extra question, and one that might prompt another story or two: What's the - ettiquette probably isn't the right word - concerning involuntary erections? Take a closed position dance style, add an attractive woman, lower the lights and top off with sustained synchronised rhythmic movement... You don't need to be a rocket scientist to predict where that can land.

And vice versa women. Natural physical responses don't discriminate.

Yeah... the general response is that people don't mention it but then don't talk to you or dance with you again hah. Luckily I've avoided that but I have heard stories of other guys.

Unfortunately you're screwed if you get an erection! I'd recommend just trying to not go into closed or something until more comfortable.

Agreed with not rushing into closed. After dancing for a few weeks, the downstairs head stops going "oh, someone's close to us? TIME FOR SEX" and learns to chill out.

It is pretty clear to the women and to the other dudes when a new guy shows up just to pull — he gives off vibes.

Less of a problem than you might expect: even close-style dances tend not to have things that close down there.

What is this place?

This website is a place for people who want to move past shady thinking and test their ideas in a court of people who don't all share the same biases. Our goal is to optimize for light, not heat; this is a group effort, and all commentators are asked to do their part.

The weekly Culture War threads host the most controversial topics and are the most visible aspect of The Motte. However, many other topics are appropriate here. We encourage people to post anything related to science, politics, or philosophy; if in doubt, post!

Check out The Vault for an archive of old quality posts. You are encouraged to crosspost these elsewhere.


Why are you called The Motte?

A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


New post guidelines

If you're posting something that isn't related to the culture war, we encourage you to post a thread for it. A submission statement is highly appreciated, but isn't necessary for text posts or links to largely-text posts such as blogs or news articles; if we're unsure of the value of your post, we might remove it until you add a submission statement. A submission statement is required for non-text sources (videos, podcasts, images).

Culture war posts go in the culture war thread; all links must either include a submission statement or significant commentary. Bare links without those will be removed.

If in doubt, please post it!


Rules


Recommended Posts And Communities

Recommended Realtime Chats