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ymeskhout  1yr ago (text post)   Edited 1yr ago   2813 thread views

The Bailey Podcast E030: Indubitably, Porn

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In this episode, we discuss porn.

Participants: Yassine, Interversity, Neophos, Xantos.

Links:

E016: The Banality of Catgirls (The Bailey)

Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports (Behavioral Sciences)

How Pornography Can Ruin Your Sex Life (Mark Manson)

Does too much pornography numb us to sexual pleasure? (Aeon Magazine)

The great porn experiment (TEDx)

Hikikomori (Wikipedia)

The Effects Of Too Much Porn: "He's Just Not That Into Anyone" (The Last Psychiatrist)

Hard Core (The Atlantic)

Recorded 2022-12-18 | Uploaded 2023-01-12

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Getting out of that mindset, years later, required defeating self-loathing despite a lot of external evidence that I was lowlife. Were I to meet my mid twenties self today, I could give him good advice, but I guarantee jogging wouldn't have done the trick.

My brother was in a similar situation and, well, jogging didn't help, but more exciting stuff like skiing did. The trick wasn't to defeat self-loathing but rather to get busy, exhilarated, and adrenaline-fueled enough for it to no longer matter so much.

(For the record, I saw a therapist during that period but didn't benefit from it, in part because he sucked and in part because I bullshitted threatening questions.)

I'm pretty sure 95% of the benefit of most therapists is that they listen to you. I also tried a therapist at one point and she also sucked. I think they are mostly just founts of compassion rather than problem-solvers, and that's not what I needed. Was your experience similar?

In the period I'm talking about, though, entering a gym or party would be like a normal person entering them in the middle of a five alarm fire.

Yep, I've been there too, and videogames were there for me when it happened. I don't want to totally bash on them. For years of my life, I haven't been unhappy, but I've consoled myself by basically saying "well, if everything I'm striving for fails, I would still be pretty happy to just hang out in an apartment and play videogames all day." It's nice to have that rock-bottom, guaranteed safety net.

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