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ymeskhout  1yr ago (text post)   Edited 1yr ago   2813 thread views

The Bailey Podcast E030: Indubitably, Porn

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In this episode, we discuss porn.

Participants: Yassine, Interversity, Neophos, Xantos.

Links:

E016: The Banality of Catgirls (The Bailey)

Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports (Behavioral Sciences)

How Pornography Can Ruin Your Sex Life (Mark Manson)

Does too much pornography numb us to sexual pleasure? (Aeon Magazine)

The great porn experiment (TEDx)

Hikikomori (Wikipedia)

The Effects Of Too Much Porn: "He's Just Not That Into Anyone" (The Last Psychiatrist)

Hard Core (The Atlantic)

Recorded 2022-12-18 | Uploaded 2023-01-12

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One thing I noticed is that, among my acquaintances, those who do go down the rabbit hole of drugs, porn, and video games are all men.

Now that might be just my social circle but the difference is quite striking. I have several explanations as to why:

  • Male and female dysfunctions are different. It is more socially acceptable to spend hours on instagram than hours gaming.

  • We are wired not to see female losers as losers. Women have intrinsic value, men only insofar they accomplish and provide something. A woman who doesn't accomplish anything is still a woman, therefore intrinsically valuable, therefore not a loser.

  • Greater male variability hypothesis: There are more male geniuses, but also more male dumbasses.

  • Glass floor: women have better support systems/ social support and don't fall as deep

  • Superstimuli are geared towards male taste. I know much fewer female potheads / video game junkies. Superstimuli for women (e.g. instagram) seem to be harmful in less obvious ways

Not only do we not see female losers as losers, but I think that often we fail to perceive them at all. A third of homeless people are female, for instance, but the prototypical homeless person in the public consciousness is almost invariably male. I think there's also a recent upswing in young male dysfunction owing to the collapse of masculine-coded blue-collar work. Service sector jobs code as more feminine and better pair with female agreeability, while males chaff under the subservience required of them.

A third of homeless people are female, for instance, but the prototypical homeless person in the public consciousness is almost invariably male.

Are they sleeping on the streets though or are they bouncing around couches?

Sometimes they really are on the street (usually obese, weird looking, skeletal, etc.), but I think people tune them out because they don't enjoy contemplating unfeminine women. They are actively unwholesome in ways that slovenly men are not. It is the dual edge of the women are wonderful trope.

You pretty neatly covered the possibilities, although I might phrase a few differently. My guess is 50% glass floor, 30% male variability, 20% women are wonderful bias.

Women do, by objective measures, seem to be doing better at not becoming losers. Whether this is more about the intrinsic nature of women or the structures of society is a lot like asking why a lake exists: is it the hole or the rain?

One more thing I forgot to mention: Women tend to score higher on agreeableness. Being an anti-social loser requires some immunity against social disapproval.

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