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I'm a "gun guy", AMA

A couple people had expressed interest in this topic, and I have a bit of extra time for a couple days, so here goes:

Bona fides: I am a former infantry NCO and sniper, hunter, competitive shooter, reloader, hobby gunsmith, sometimes firearms trainer and currently work in a gun shop, mostly on the paperwork/compliance side. Back in the day, was a qualified expert with every standard small arm in the US inventory circa 2003 (M2, 4, 9, 16, 19, 249, 240B, 21, 24, 82 etc.), and today hang around the 75th percentile of USPSA classifications. I've shot Cap-and-Ball, Trap and Sporting Clays badly; Bullseye and PRS somewhat better and IDPA/USPSA/UML/Two-gun with some local success. Been active in the 2A community since the mid-90s, got my first instructor cert in high school, and have held a CPL for almost twenty years now.

I certainly don't claim to be an expert in every aspect of firearms, there's huge areas that escape my knowledge base, but if you've got questions I'll do my best to answer.

Technical questions

Gun control proposals for feasibility

Industry

Training

Wacky opinions

General geekery

Some competition links (not my own) just for the interested.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=U5IhsWamaLY&t=173

https://youtube.com/watch?v=93nEEINflXE

https://youtube.com/watch?v=utcky0zq10E

https://youtube.com/watch?v=xVh4CjbgK7s

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0IK2RUxVq3A

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So, is there any sort of good guide for "here's how to use an AR-15 for complete noobs"?

The other suggestions are solid, but I'd add one additional thing. Use the videos and such to show you where the major controls are (mag release, bolt release, charging handle, safety) and how they function. When you rent the actual gun, before you start loading magazines, run through the functions with a dry mag. Insert and eject a mag, charge the bolt, drop the bolt, work the safety, do a couple reps to get a clear idea of how it feels to work the gun while maintaining safe handling. The charging handle and bolt release in particular can require a surprising amount of force compared to everyday objects, and you're going to be working the former while holding the gun by the grip; get a feel for operating it while keeping the gun pointed in a safe direction and your finger off the trigger. A few reps with a dry gun can save the discomfort of trying to figure out how to work an unfamiliar firearm that's already loaded.