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Culture War Roundup for the week of December 26, 2022

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I sort of feel like Johnson is not a great screenwriter, just flashy, and pulling wool over people's eyes with simple lazy tricks

I hard disagree. Brick and Looper are two of the better-written movies of the last 20 years. He has a good ear for dialogue and gets good performances from his cast. He was absolutely the wrong man to write and direct a Star Wars movie, but the sequel trilogy was doomed from the beginning due to structural problems with the story JJ Abrams and Kathleen Kennedy decided to tell.

Johnson’s problem is that he views himself as an auteur. He definitely makes his best movies when he is constrained by budget or a script supervisor who can put the kibosh on his desire to make “art” instead of telling a good story. He crawled up his own ass when making Star Wars and the fan reaction basically guaranteed he would stay there out of stubbornness. I wish he would come out again and make some good niche movies that weren’t full of swipes at the kids on Twitter who were mean to him for “ruining Star Wars.”

Johnson’s problem is that he views himself as an auteur. He definitely makes his best movies when he is constrained by budget or a script supervisor who can put the kibosh on his desire to make “art” instead of telling a good story.

All of a sudden I got this image of Ben Stiller playing a Johnson-style director who wants to be the next Kubrick but really is the current Michael Bay (his movies are trash but they make reliable box-office returns). Anyone want to cast the script supervisor who is competent but exasperated at having to wrangle the guy into making the next instalment of the trashy-but-high grossing series instead of the arty-farty movie he wants to do? It's supposed to be CGI-heavy SF schlock with the baddie aliens invading Earth, but he wants a scene where the aliens destroy famous global landmarks (okay that is doable) but with heavy-handed social commentary e.g. tying it in to BLM protests (no way). Picture our Helen-type character above doing a Black Power salute and a long lecture on reparations and 'we built this country' while the aliens death-ray Mount Rushmore or something.

Anyone want to cast the script supervisor who is competent but exasperated at having to wrangle the guy into making the next instalment of the trashy-but-high grossing series instead of the arty-farty movie he wants to do?

Kevin Hart, dead serious. He's got the range to from straight-man studio exec role to full Eddie Murphy-esque "what'ch you talkin' 'bout fool!?" in the space of a sentence, and if we're doing a proper send up of modern Hollywood I think it would be fun to have some privileged white guy going on about how he's "the voice of the oppressed" while an actual representative of "the oppressed" is like "dude, STFU, if we don't get peoples butts in seats we aint getting paid".

Didn't Kevin Hart play a promoter in a boxing movie with Stallone playing not-Rocky? I remember his character's line about getting another boxer a part in Hangover 4 during the credits.

If he did it's slipping my mind, but that's exactly the sort of vibe I was thinking of.