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Notes -
For me, this is pretty clear. You can frequently see questions like "by what date are you supposed to have sex?" on dating forums or reddit (or maybe just the latter). Usually, the answer is anything between "the first date" or "no further than the fifth date". These kinds of rules and expectations absolutely do increase the amount of pressure on dating couples to have sex before any kind of commitment, unless you count going on a few dates as commitment. Girls don't want to lose good men they find. I think there is pressure on men to ask for sex frequently as well. If you don't, you might be gay or not into your date very much.
My understanding is that women really, really, really don't like having a man choose not to have sex with them when they're turned on. Because men are almost entirely higher in sex drive than women, the expectation (and not necessarily an unreasonable one) is that men will be ready to go at any time and all a woman has to do to get some is appear interested. So a man not being into it is a massive ego hurt: "Am I that ugly?" And like all ego hurts, the defense mechanisms start triggering like an intrusion prevention system, and obviously the problem isn't her -- it's that he's gay and no woman would please him, or he's an impotent loser.
The accurate understanding that both men and women have complicated reasons for wanting or not wanting sex at any particular time is hard to adopt and introduces complexity, and the human mind craves simplicity, especially simplicity that results in the protection of the ego. Hence why something like intersectionality, which on the face of it ought to introduce greater complexity and accuracy in the face of how varied social experience is and how many different social hierarchies there are, ended up in actual practice to simply mean adding more of the reductive social rankings that were already in the oppression olympics.
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