So I don't think I would agree with any of the premises.
I may not select my friends based only on their race, but I don't have an obligation to not racially select friends. It seems to me that in general, people have an unconscious desire to be around people like themselves which would lead them to some racially-influenced selection. So, it's not clear to me it's even possible to be colorblind.
Friends and romantic partners are obviously very different relationships, so of course different criteria would apply.
I would argue being obligated to sleep with someone you aren't attracted to falls under "unreasonably extreme cost to oneself". In fact, even being forced into friendship with someone because of their race is an unreasonable extreme cost.
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Notes -
So I don't think I would agree with any of the premises.
I may not select my friends based only on their race, but I don't have an obligation to not racially select friends. It seems to me that in general, people have an unconscious desire to be around people like themselves which would lead them to some racially-influenced selection. So, it's not clear to me it's even possible to be colorblind.
Friends and romantic partners are obviously very different relationships, so of course different criteria would apply.
I would argue being obligated to sleep with someone you aren't attracted to falls under "unreasonably extreme cost to oneself". In fact, even being forced into friendship with someone because of their race is an unreasonable extreme cost.
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