The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Since you mention potentially wanting to marry and raise kids together, some of those things do sound a bit counter to that.
This will be a struggle if you ever do have kids, but it just is what it is, they can start trying to sleep through the night at about 6 months.
My husband didn't have a car when we started living together (Chicago), but you will almost certainly need one if you get a proper household going, with children.
Hm. Yeah. It's really irritating to cook dinner, and then have your man say, no, he's got his own food that's different, enjoy though. It's also pretty irritating to be always cooking vegan food with a side of meat or cheese, though that can depend on what cuisine you both like. Also, only going out to restaurants that serve vegan food makes proposing a place to eat out much harder. I used to keep Orthodox fasts, which are like that, and mostly just didn't eat out. Which was alright, since it was meant to be penitential, but isn't great for dating. Not sure what to do about this.
A big anxiety around this for women is whether they're in danger of losing their belief based community, and if so, what you can replace it with together. One of the big problems of modernity is that there often isn't a replacement, people just become more isolated.
I know sleep is going to be compromised when I have kids. This is fine, and other areas of my life will just have to suffer for a while. I just don't see a need to do this for relatively superficial social reasons.
Car I'm also willing to buy/share when/if I get married. It's not a good investment now, and I have a zipcar membership when I absolutely need it (for a hike or something).
The vegan restaurants issue is not an issue. Because I eat shellfish, there is always something for me, at least around here. What I've done in the past is cook vegan every time my girlfriend is over. She appreciates the cooking even if she isn't vegan herself. In marriage I'll probably continue to do the same. Worst comes to worse I'll have to learn how to cook some amount of meat. Kids are not going to be vegan, at least at first. There are too many open questions about nutrition at that age that I'm not looking to have an argument about.
I think this is a problem with the institution of the Church in the West. There are so many propositions that you have to accept based on blind-faith, many of which I think are incorrect. It doesn't need to be this way. You can have a lot of doctrinal flexibility in your religious community while still maintaining a strong moral core of belief.
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