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In addition to what’s been said, cats make decent baby substitutes. Babies, especially newborns, sleep a lot, preferably on you. Good cats love sleeping on you, too. Carrying a cat also fulfills some of that feeling of holding a baby up on your shoulder or against your chest. And there’s some of that “unconditional love” feeling when your cat has deigned you worthy of all this and starts purring. On the negative side, cats can be fickle like babies. You may not be playing the “why won’t you stop crying game,” but you are playing the, “why won’t you come here and let me pet you,” game.
I don’t know if these traits are part of that feminine coding for sure, but I do know that I intend to use cats for my baby fix once I’m done having the actual thing.
You halfway described stereotypical male versus female relationship dynamics.
Dogs, like men, are simple, direct, and consistent. It's not that they can't have changes of mood, or are always friendly, but there are strong, direct, and dominant dynamics that are less likely to chance on power dynamics. If your dog suddenly grew to the size of a car, it would certainly be bigger and more prone to dangerous accidents, but if you called it would still come.
If your cat suddenly dwarfed you, however, your relationship would likely substantially change. Cat relationships- precisely because they are fickle and thus often conditional love- are highly contextual, playing to its moods and the power dynamics involved. It can go from signaling contentment to displeasure far quicker, which totally has no gender stereotype equivalent.
Of course, and just like with men and women, stereotypes are not always truths, and there are a lot of overlaps, including the capacity for sincere and committed relationships.
But stereotypes do exist for reasons, or at least often enough for a reputation to be formed and sustained.
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