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Culture War Roundup for the week of January 13, 2025

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I think this is one thing people don't realize. With all the discussion about "third places" in recent years, it's almost like the writers complaining about them are essentially asking for bars without admitting they want bars. I'm a member of a local VFW post. I go several times a week. I don't go because I like drinking, I go because I like the people. If you're a regular at a bar, you know you can show up any time and you're friends will be there. Not all of your friends, but at least some of them. It's the ultimate low commitment social life, because there's never any obligation or expectation to show up, but it's always there if you want to do it. And if you just want to sit there and read or look at your phone, you can do that, too, because, even if you know everybody else in the bar, you didn't specifically go there to meet them specifically, so there's no obligation to entertain them.

For all this lack of obligation, though, it only really works if you commit to it; you have to go there often enough that everybody knows your name for it to have that kind of effect. If you only go a few times a year, you won't know anybody well enough for it to be worth it. The only time you can really get away from this is if you slowly back off after having gone regularly for years, at which point you can do the minimum to keep in touch. So when writers complain about the lack of some amorphous "third space" that I imagine they picture being like a college student union, I wonder if they realize that they don't work unless enough people are committed. Is there going to be a critical mass of people who show up several times a week solely out of routine to make it attractive for a stranger to want to join the community? What's the default activity? Bars have pool tables, dart boards, trivia nights, etc., but most people default to sitting around the bar bullshitting.