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Notes -
I’ve completed two full-day fasts, one in the 00’s in my 20’s and one recently, I think in 2020, in my 40’s. Both lasted from my dinner the day before to breakfast the day after.
The first was at the urging of a friend, that we fast together and dedicate it to the Lord. At lunchtime, I went to a nearby park to read a book. Just before I was due back to the office, an ice cream truck came by the park, so I went up and bought a bar. As money and ice cream changed hands, I remembered I was fasting, and I laughed that I had forgotten. It went into the freezer at work, uneaten for the next day. After work, my friend asked where we were going to eat, and I looked at him agog. He revealed he wanted to fast because he was short on food and money. He ate; I remained fasting until the following morning because that was what I had prepared for. As I went to bed, I thanked God. Because it was half a lifetime ago, I don’t recall the urges.
The second, more recent, fast was because I was tired of feeling like I did nothing but eat all day. I dedicated this fast to God, toward whichever account He wanted to credit it. The first wave of raw ravenous need hit mid-morning, and I couldn’t believe how strong it was. The memory that I’d made it through before was got me through that first wave. The second wave was around lunchtime and I could barely think of anything but food. It seemed like it would never end. This time I prayed, bargaining with God, and that’s when I realized why saints have fasted: such raw need brings severe and immediate awareness of why I do the things I do and what Power I rely upon for endurance. The wave passed after twenty minutes or half an hour, and the relief was profound. The third wave hit in the late afternoon, as powerfully strong as the second, and this time it was memory of prior endurance and prayer (not for food, but for God to act in the world) which got me through. I was surprised that no more waves of overwhelming and lightheaded hunger hit me that day, and I went to bed contemplative, determined to remember the experience.
I now know how much hunger hurts, and that I face three terrible waves of need I cannot ignore, but I can endure. I do not know if my experience would have been different had I been anticipating a dinner at the end, before sleep, instead of breakfast the following day.
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