site banner

Wellness Wednesday for December 18, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

1
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Yes but NYC seems to be a different meta entirely, very different sorts of women congregate there and you're competing with world-class elites.

I would look into blue cities in red states, many have surprisingly good demographics for you minus the Asian fetish.

Once you are getting matches on a dating app consistently and are in a better city, I can explain the basic strategy to get laid on first/second dates. After that it's just a matter of converting one to a long-term relationship which is the easiest step. I'm not amazing at this but your success rate doesn't have to be that high for you to be rarely single and have minimal dry spells. YMMV if you're much lower SMV than me. Chances are if you're new to regular online dating you're making mistakes that someone with experience can help you avoid but it takes time to understand and fix them. You are much more financially successful but lookswise unclear. We're both South Asian and are pretty much in the "want an LTR but are fine with hookups along the way" bucket. Definitely don't shave the beard, on balance 3mm stubble will help you with women across the board even if it turns off some with peculiar preferences.

One thing that will help you going forward is taking vacations now. In the next three years no reason you can't spend a week each in, say, Barcelona, Rome, Paris, Tokyo, and two other major global cities. It gives you much more to talk about on a first date and women are much more enamored with travel than men.