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Wellness Wednesday for December 18, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Guys with Asian fetishes value that they are feminine and submissive

That's like saying that people who like red heads value their fiery personalities, or people who like black women value their sassy attitudes - it's projecting lazy stereotypes into other people's minds and then labelling it as a fetish akin to their being fixated on feet or uniforms. Where Asian women do display submissiveness (I'd class it more as passiveness) it's their least attractive aspect. Cool, a woman who's too timid to exhibit an independent personality, feel the sparks fly! It probably sounds shallow and lizard-brained but I just think they're pretty and I prefer brunettes. What's wrong with being attracted to femininity?

When I think of wimpy men I think of them being saddled with domineering women who push them around, like that character in The Big Bang Theory with the gf who sounds like a fog horn.

I agree with not saying it out loud though. Not because it makes you look weak, but because it makes you look like you value someone primarily for aesthetic considerations that they had no choice or influence over. Which is partially true, and why you shouldn't say so, because the part (liking them because they're Asian and you think Asians are pretty, or whatever) is taken for the whole (liking them only because they're Asian or whatever and being completely indifferent to who they are as an individual, which probably does count as if not a weakness then a kind of failing of maturity).

That's like saying that people who like red heads value their fiery personalities, or people who like black women value their sassy attitudes - it's projecting lazy stereotypes into other people's minds

Guess what, princess? People are going to judge you based on stereotypes of those like you. If you say you went to Harvard, people are going to think you're an arrogant prick. While if you say you went to an Ivy League school, we'll know you're an arrogant prick and that you went to Cornell or Brown and have a chip on your shoulder over never getting off the Princeton waitlist. If you own a Dodge or a Nissan people will think you have a bad credit score. If you're fat people will think you're lazy.

And if you exclusively lust after East Asian girls, you're going to have trouble dodging the weeb allegations, the stereotype you're going to get tossed in with is the anime dorks.

It doesn't matter if it's unfair, it's how the world works.