The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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So, a word of warning. I am an LDR vet. 5 years of LDR dating before I was 21.
My "big" breakup that fucked me good was a 3 month situationship where we knew we should break up, but she pushed to stay together after a month, we kept falling deeper in love, and then cheated on me a couple months later. I'm fairly confident if we hadn't done that it would have been a good relationship when I returned.
In short, just don't expose yourself to more risk of heartbreak than you need to. Keep moving forward while she's gone and make the call to rekindle or not when (if) she comes back.
This has been bugging me a lot. There is a good chance if I just let it stay, when she is back in a a couple of months, we would both be single and wouldn't have found anything better, and there is a real chance of rekindling.
My fear is that I don't end up moving forward, I just settle for someone else, and she sees that as the door closing.
If she finds someone else, IDC, at least I would know that the chapter is closed. But now there are possibilities of it working out in the future but they hang on everything falling into place at the right time and place.
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