The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
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Short answer: Yes, it's human to think about these things.
Longer answer: For what it's worth, I had similar feelings, occasionally, before getting married. Almost 10 years in now and it's good stuff.
My experience with all relationships and partners is you have to choose what's important to you. Nobody rolls nat 20s on all their stats. Do you want a sharp-tongued, aggressively driven woman? Prepare to be exhausted fighting about stupid shit and being emasculated every once in a while. Do you want a demure mother of your children? Prepare to have to be exhausted leading the household all of the time. Do women want a ripped god? Well then he'll be eating like a bird and working out all the time. Do you want material comfort and money? He may not be as attractive as the former.
Consider those pros and cons and what is truly important to you. Bluntly, I am primarily driven by sex and did not optimize enough on this parameter when selecting a partner, and overshot on almost everything else. What is the evergreen desire you want out of your relationship? And for the love of god, shuck away the confines of what "the culture" demands of you. You are under no obligation to get married because you've dated for a while, and you're under no obligation to marry some uber-female who puts you in your place all the time.
Is there a defined end date to the long distance? Have you dated in-person for most of the relationship? How is the sex (Note that this is separate from physical attractiveness)? Have you dated someone previously who gave you the "Jazz" you're looking for?
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