The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Yeah as a zoomer/current college student this is 100 percent correct. Of the guys in my friend group, the ones with the best success are just the strongest Hinge warriors who are willing to put themselves through the meat grinder to get a date. I've been working pretty consciously over the past month or so to make a serious attempt to talk to a girl every night I go out, but you run into a couple of issues:
-The Venn diagram of women you are interested in and women who frequent your mid college bar doesn't feature a very large overlapping zone, and other means of large-scale socialization are unreliable at best for a variety of reasons (attendance isn't guaranteed, demographics usually skew towards freshmen, often too loud and packed to hold a conversation)
-If you manage to get to the stage where you buy someone a drink, your dog and pony show has to be pretty much flawless or else you're cooked
-There's a weird lack of communication about interest, so you can talk to someone for well over an hour, buy them a couple drinks, have a great conversation, feel like you're in an unambiguous position with regards to intent, and then have them tell you they have a boyfriend (this exact phenomenon has happened to me on multiple occasions)
-Even when things go really well, there's a decent chance that it doesn't click on your end and you're your own worst enemy
Relying heavily on online dating generally mitigates the first and third obstacle, and the other two can be fixed through sheer numbers and persistence. It's a demoralizing process, but the easiest way to hit a bullseye is to throw a lot of darts.
More options
Context Copy link