The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I appreciate you writing this. My grandfather is rotting away due to Alzheimers - the last time I saw him was three years ago, after which his health rarely allowed visitors and flying down to see him was nearly impossible plan due to personal health issues. When I was a little boy, he was the strongest man I knew. I love my grandmother as well, but going down to see him was a special joy.
I never knew my father, but my grandfather would toss me up in his arms and get me to feel his sweat 'any sweat?' and then whiskers 'any whiskers?'. He'd always be in from a hard day's work (after retiring he renovated houses and repaired cars until his health no longer allowed it, after which he went from a joyful strong man to perpetually grouchy and frustrated) and there'd always be sweat on his brow. Whiskers sometimes. He'd laugh and he'd put me down and make me lemon cordial with milk, a combination I've never seen anyone else like. You had to drink it quick to stop it curdling, and I'd always have my own milk whiskers afterwards.
All throughout my life he was taciturn and showed his love physically or by building or fixing something. He fixed cars of mine a few times when I couldn't afford a mechanic, and loaned me his ute when my car broke down and I couldn't afford a new one for some months. But he had a biting sense of wit as well, and loved to tease. I once found a giant novelty wooden spoon at a car boot sale, and painstakingly carved the words 'biggest shit-stirrer' into it for a Christmas present. He laughed at the time - but later I found out he hated it and felt put on the spot, only keeping it because he appreciated a gift from his grandson more than his own pride.
Now the only thing he can remember about me is that I owe him fifty dollars. It makes him apoplectic with rage that I haven't paid him back for the money, and if I were to go visit him in hospice all I could bring what remains of him is grief and rage. I'm his favorite grandson (I was given his name which I think gave me an unfair head start) and now all I do is ring my grandmother once a week and hear about how he's degrading, how another little piece of him is being taken away. How his legs and fingers are rotting and he only recognises my grandmother sometimes.
Nobody in my family has ever died since I was four years old and too young to remember it, but every time I think of him I hope it comes soon.
I tried to sit down with him and record something when I last saw him, but he hated the notion of his life being recorded, as his own father was an undisputed monster and I think he wants the man to go unlamented and unremembered. I thought foolishly I had time to convince him, time to sit down and talk and record and write so I'd get some record of his life and the man he was.
I didn't, and there's not enough of him left to piece it together.
Thank you for writing this. I'm going to find a time later this year, take a week off work, sit down with my grandmother and record whatever she'll give me.
More options
Context Copy link