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Or get a friend / relative to help?
My brother's wife has an event coming up and I was "roped into" helping for that evening. IOW my brother sent me a message "Are you free on X? I could use some help with the kids." to which I naturally replied "Sure, I'll come". This does mean I have to cut a hobby a whopping half an hour shorter... The horror!
Obviously having kids will limit the kinds of things you can do but it's far from a social death sentence.
I'm reminded of an observation I made a long time ago when I noticed quite a few people were using pairing up (without any kids even) as an unvoiced excuse to start hanging at home and stop going out or seeing friends and where any social event would suddenly require weeks of planning in advance. Having even minor responsibilities at home just became a convenient excuse and alternative to having to actually go out and spend any effort at having a social life.
Exactly. I kicked off a babysitting co-op in my neighborhood for exactly this reason. I can read a book or watch a movie at a friend's house while they go out on a late-night date. The kids are in bed by 7:30 anyway.
I've seen this too. Thankfully, most of the people who use this tack don't complain about being lonely but... many do. I visited my midwestern friends recently and tried to connect them with one another (identical hobbies, great fits) to no avail. Some people just like being homebodies I guess.
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