The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
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I know how that can feel. The explosive sense of intimacy you can feel with a new person, learning rapidly about them and feeling them learn rapidly about you. The way time compresses and someone you know for just a day can become such an important part of your life. I still remember a girl I met at a college visit in 2010, we locked eyes at orientation and had this sudden intimacy, spent the whole weekend talking and kissing. I didn't end up going to that school, we exchanged phone numbers and texted briefly but I never spoke to her again. The weekend was something, but it fizzled out and cashed out to nothing.
I feel for you. That sudden flash of intimacy can cause one to dream all kinds of things in a hurry. But at the same time:
I can count a half dozen moments like that across my life, and I"ve no doubt you'll be able to as well, if you live long enough. These occasions of perfection in chemistry are rare, but not singular unless you choose to make them so. So this woman turned out to be less than expected, or you fumbled the bag, so what, you'll find another. And as for this whinging...
Romance is a capitalist market, you're entitled to what you can get. If you can't get what you want, raise your capital value and make yourself someone who can get what you want.
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