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naraburns  nihil supernum  2yr ago (text post)   35889 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of October 3, 2022

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For what it’s worth, I expect you and I can or could still have plenty of good conversations—but when people tell me they don’t want to share a society with me, I take seriously the need to build alternate spaces alongside those who do.

Is the ability to have a conversation based on having something to talk about, or not having something you can't talk about?

People talk about anger as though it's a force of nature, utterly irresistible, but our actions are chosen. Still, what happens when the only workable, non-disastrous option you can work with is to close your mouth, turn around and leave?

I regret a number of things I've written in these threads. It might seem stupid, but I very much regret the time I called you blue tribe when you'd previously made it clear your internal identity is red. I'd straight-up forgotten, and it was clear that it came across as a personal attack, and I wanted to apologize but it seemed wrong somehow, like I was trying to justify it. For what little it's worth, I'm sorry for that and for any other needless offense I've offered, intentionally or not.

I think peace requires some level of agreement on which losses get redressed, and which get written off. So what happens when one side says "write it off", and the other side doesn't? What happens when the other side says "redress it", and the first refuses? What's there to do, but fight over it until everyone who remembers why is dead and gone? And who would that benefit?

You and I have a fundamental difference of values. Your right and wrong are not mine, mine are not yours. I don't think either of us is under the impression that the other is missing crucial information. The disagreement is not tangential or peripheral, and it sure doesn't seem reconcilable. You don't like being told that I don't want to have to vote with you, but I don't think it's reasonable for me to vote for my own survival. I don't like being told that an innocent getting their head stomped on by a mob is a regrettably preferable outcome, but you don't want to see lesser violence spiraling inexorably into greater violence, into death, maybe even into many, many deaths. Or maybe I totally misunderstand. If so, it's a misunderstanding that appears immune to correction, because that was charitable to the point of dishonesty from where I sit. Dialing it down that far has required three four passes, and the strangling sensation of swallowing mouthfuls of necessary truth, the lies by omission I keep choosing that curdle any joy of discourse.

You mentioned in one of those past conversations that you took the things people were saying really personally. On this point, you should rest secure in the knowledge that I sympathize to a profound degree. The arguments you made, I read them then and now as applied to me, to my wife, to my family and friends. The things that happened, the arguments made not in the abstract, but while watching it happen, live and in color... The knowledge generated is indelible. There is before, and there is after. I get the impression that it's the same for you. I haven't actually changed my views much, and I get the impression that it's the same for you. So... There it is.

I hope your alternate space goes well, for what it's worth, and if you ever want to come back here I'll make it a point to stay out of your way unless you'd explicitly prefer otherwise.

Last word on this one's yours if you want it, sir. Scout's honor.

I realized I never replied to this—I meant to, but I mean to do a lot of things these days. I appreciate your expression of regrets and your work to keep things dialed down; though I continue to feel misapprehended, I won't attempt to further bridge a gap in understanding that, as you say, appears unbridgeable. I see no reason for you to stay out of my way; that we have fundamental disagreements does not mean I see no value in our chats.

All the best.

I realized I never replied to this—I meant to, but I mean to do a lot of things these days.

Ain't that the way?

thanks for the kind words, and hey, if you're around, I'll be around too.

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