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Small-Scale Question Sunday for July 14, 2024

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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I don't think people so much react badly to alternative upbringings and backgrounds, as they do to attempts to "speedrun" their culture. Consider participating some events -- a concert, a hike, whatever kind of thing your colleagues seem to enjoy.

It's useful to read some stuff (for historical things, I recommend the Saint John's Reading List), listen to some stuff, subscribe to the New Yorker or something -- but most especially, it's useful to be genuinely interested, ask questions, and follow up on those questions by actually engaging with the cultural artifacts presented.

If someone enjoys the Beetles, they would probably be pleased if you listen to some albums on your commute, and come back with "I listened to some albums, and enjoyed [this song, or this quality]." Or even "I listened to some albums, and don't really get it, could you help me understand the appeal?" This is an opening for them to share something they like, which people enjoy doing. They would likely not be very happy if you listened to an audiobook about The Beetles Phenomenon, and proceeded to act like a know it all about it. If they are a woman, "mansplaining" might enter their mind at some point.

I'd be able to discuss at length untranslated Japanese visual novels, Magic the Gathering meta, Super Mario 64 speedrun strats, Nijisanji vtubers

Conversely, this description of your own interests presents, to an outsider, a brick wall, erected to keep them out, and perhaps a bit of embarrassment about what's inside. I assume this isn't actually how you describe your interests to your colleagues? This is actually how my brother describes his interests, and so I still have no idea what he's talking about most of the time, despite decades of polite questioning. This is bad.

I have some history and linguistic nerd friends, some of whom are more socially successful than others. The key is to focus on the relatable human side of things, not the deep rabbit hole side of things. This is why people who are not especially nerdy love things like the Inklings, or the bits of Kabalah in Unsung. There are probably things there that your colleagues would find interesting if they were presented as an interesting story you heard, or some bit of linguistics that's kind of neat.