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The fraction of total utility lost to mass shootings and the like is very small indeed. Anyone not caring about lonely men should also be fine not caring if one in every 100k of them commits a mass shooting.
I think the problem is more that having a lack of buy-in into society from a significant fraction of the population is a risk factor for all sorts of things. After all, these men can still vote, for one thing.
Yes, I agree in general with you (particularly that the subtle effects of men lacking investment in society are likely to be what corrodes it far more than the dramatic eruptions of frustration). But it's worth pointing out that while yours is the general opinion expressed in this subthread, it's a minority opinion overall in society. Whether they're just virtue signaling or not, a significant percentage, if not the majority, of people who express a lack of concern or disdain for lonely men also express severe apparent anguish at even singular instances of mass shootings and indicate that they would support quite significant societal changes to stop them from ever happening.
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