Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
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Notes -
Those are all terrible situations with no good solutions. I'm sorry you had to deal with them, and I think it can be normal to respond to powerless scenarios with power fantasies. But that said, I understand why you want to avoid anti-social thinking, and I would consider two contexts.
The first is that you aren't treating these things as mere objects or obstacles. You are expressly thinking of them as enemies or antagonists, with purpose behind their actions. People don't think of how to take vengeance on a road closed for construction, they take vengeance on those who have wronged them. Working on identifying the emotions behind your thoughts and addressing them in productive ways (intense exercise, for example) can help.
In a more Kantian sense I understand how you are looking at them as obstacles, rather than people. It sounds like you get caught up in finding a solution, and that just doesn't stop when someone makes a personal decision. For example:
To me, that speaks of an intense focus and determination to find a solution well before it reaches machiavellian brainstorming. It's harder to stop a heavy and quickly moving object; the same goes for thoughts.
It's not an easy solution, but you have to find a way to let go of lines of thinking that aren't productive, and that is usually well before the self-destructive and anti-social thoughts you describe. My experience is that when you enter the realm of obsessive specification, you are losing sight of more realistic options, and certainly losing touch with the general audience of normies in the world, who are the primary people you will deal with in these situations.
Aside from learning to deal with the average person (most people don't want completely rational discussions and taking that route makes them less agreeable), one thing that has helped me is zooming out to the bigger picture. For the HR situation: do you want to work for a company that refuses you a raise when you are doing a good job? From their perspective, they were either being disingenuous about what they thought of your performance (a symptom of the larger ecosystem), or stupid (also a symptom of the larger ecosystem). Do you want to be a part of that ecosystem?
Understanding how you fit into all the systems around you will give you a better idea of where you can force your position, and where you are powerless and better off searching for another solution (lest you delve into unsavory thoughts, or frustration more generally).
In short: stop the trolley before it's at max velocity, and learn how to change tracks before it becomes more difficult.
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