Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Do things that get them to respect your values and opinions. There is no argument you can provide that will convince them if that foundation isn't there.
I'll also give you a different perspective, since there are many people who are anti-tattoo here. If you really hate the idea of tattoos on your kids, you can consider my point of view and work against it for maximum protection. Personally, I would say your post is a great argument against bad tattoos, and making permanent decisions based on peer pressure. Hopefully your kids don't fall into either of those traps. It's important for you to instill a good sense of taste and self-assuredness in them - that may or may not mean that they end up getting into tattoo culture, but hopefully that means they avoid a saggy butterfly tramp stamp.
I only recently got into tattoos, and I am in my 30s. I had no desire in my younger years - my earliest memory of a tattoo was a no-longer-recognizable rose on my mum, which she didn't like, and I thought was weird. I recently got into tattoos because I am very familiar with my body, and I like art. Now I can get a tattoo and see cool art any time I want, and I don't miss having bare skin (I might have when I was younger). It's a similar experience to something like carrying a nice pocket knife (which I also do when I am working). I can take it out, look at it, and it brightens my day a little every time. And similar to a nice pocket knife, I expect it will last decades, and change over time. Do I expect it to look the same for decades? Definitely not, but seeing the change is part of the experience. Old tattoos have a certain charm for some people, just like grandpa's over-sharpened slipjoint.
Of course there are people who get tattoos for the image of being a gangster or individualualist (and of course there is an irony to the latter that they will never understand). The majority of tattoos, like the majority of any cultural expression, reflect bad taste (as you note with your examples). But I think that's a bad argument, because it doesn't apply to everyone, and even the people it does apply to won't think that is does. I think tattoos have become ubiquitous in part because they allow anyone to showcase their taste. Whether it's good or bad, that's irrelevant. What matters is finding people who share it or respect it, and tattoos do that well. They can be an immediate talking point, and for people who are really into tattoos, they are a hobby like any other to bond over - both the result on your skin, and the experience of getting them.
The other aspect to their popularity is that no one can take them away. You note their longevity as a negative point, but that's double-edged. Go back to the pocket knife example - they are durable, can be beautiful, and are certainly more useful than a tattoo. But they are also extremely easy to lose, and produced in large numbers (well, aside for extremely expensive customs). Tattoos fill a gap that is hard to fill in contemporary life: individualized modification, which is an external representation of change that you enact on your surroundings. Some people like modifying their cars, some people like modifying their homes, and some like working in their gardens. But the fact is that tattoos can be less expensive than any of these, and are more accessible and meaningful for many. Many younger people can't afford their own spaces, which means they can't meaningfully modify their environments to reflect their tastes - but they can modify their bodies.
So maybe get your kids into landscaping?
Aside from having some form of output (if they are prone to needing that) and building a foundation of respect for your opinion as their parent, you have to protect them from the notion that tattoos are normal. That's tough because eventually you will have no control over their social circle, and many normal people have tattoos these days. Having friends or colleagues with tattoos is the biggest impact, I would guess. I started getting tattooed because my partner has tattoos, and I wanted to have that shared experience. I think that is something different from peer pressure. It's not the idea that you should do something because others want you to do it, but the idea that you can do something because you want to and the people you respect won't judge you for it.
Good luck.
If I believed that there was a tattoo that perfectly encapsulated something essential about me (or my kids), and I knew it would do that forever, then I'd be in favor of such a tattoo. I just don't think that actually exists for me, or maybe anyone else. And it's certainly not gonna be the flaming skull head snake-rose combo. I do worry that people get tattoos these days for mostly bad reasons that won't hold up for any length of time. I talk to my friends who get them, and it sounds like they put close to 0 thought into their next tat, like "idk, I like owls so I figured why not get an owl riding a horse". And I also worry about the normalization aspect, too that you mention.
I suppose I also think there's a certain pride that I take in having unmarred skin, being my natural self, that I would like to instill onto my kids. A natural body is prettier than most tattooed ones. Tattoos are certainly addicting and people who start often end up having the opposite value, trying to think about always getting the next one, seeing how little of their body can remain natural.
How long does one's taste really last for before it should naturally start to change? Could tattoos have a retarding effect on one's growth as people struggle (subconsciously) to maintain their same taste for the rest of their life to not have buyers remorse?
I think the points you bring up vary by person.
I had similar thoughts when I was younger (hence why I waited until I was in my 30s). I used to specifically say that I thought natural skin was nicer than any tattoo... then I started looking at tattoos I actually liked. I have always had a lot of confidence in my own taste, probably from looking back and being quite happy in the things I surrounded myself with and created no matter how old I am or was when I made them. What if that were to change? It didn't, and I don't think it ever will: I still like what I like. While my tastes are always changing, I don't see the previous iterations of my own taste as a foreign object - sometimes they are quite refreshing.
Personally I never really felt that meaning in an image is important. The meaning is less about the image, and more about the associative memories surrounding the tattoo, so there's no drive to find the perfect image (for me), or fear that the idea will change. It's more like a personal memory for me than a statue built to commemorate something specific - but that sort of thing is not a hard line for a lot of people. The idea that an image transposed into my skin, chosen by me, could feel foreign is also a foreign idea to me at this point, but certainly not unheard of for others. In fact, I have even heard some people say that it is a useful psychological breakthrough for them to integrate a new tattoo into their perception of themself. I suppose that speaks to the vast underlying reasons people have for getting tattooed. As another commenter mentioned, it is a bit ritualistic. As you note, it's addictive in many ways.
Realistically, I think your best bet is to focus on everything but tattoos, since firm directives without any backbone will get you no where with rebellious kids, or with kids who are smart enough to think for themselves. What are the reasons someone would never even consider tattoos as an option (rather than having to weigh both sides)? Well, in short, they have hobbies, interests, friends, and investments far outside the scope of tattoos. Why do people get tattoos? To rebel, to modify, to stake a claim, to look cool, to appreciate, to remember, to cover themselves... among many other reasons. You need to consider how your kids will either not run into those problems, or will have strategies that solve those sorts of things in a satisfying way.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link