aeqno
2d ago
LMAO, Trump just signed the deal at Versailles of all places:
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5929356-trump-signs-iran-agreement/
How can we not be in a simulation???
The full text of the memorandum has been released and confirmed by the White House:
If this is signed as written on Friday, I predict major ructions in the GOP, particularly the Senate, which were already coming to a head before this.
The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran have jointly agreed, in good faith, on ……… 2026, at…………………, on the following:
The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran, and their allies in the current war, by signing this MoU, declare the immediate and permanent termination of military operations on all fronts, including in Lebanon, and undertake from now on not to initiate any war or any military operation against each other, and to refrain from the threat or use of force against each other, and ensuring the territorial integrity and sovereignty of Lebanon. The final Deal will confirm the permanent termination of the war on all fronts, including in Lebanon, and other provisions of this paragraph.
The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran undertake to respect each other’s sovereignty and territorial integrity and to refrain from interfering in each other’s internal affairs.
The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran commit to negotiating and achieving the final Deal, in maximum 60 days extendable with mutual consent.
Immediately upon the signing of this MoU, the United States of America will begin the removal of its naval blockade and any disturbances or impediments against the Islamic Republic of Iran, and will fully end the naval blockade within 30 days. During this period, the traffic of vessels will be in proportion to the numbers of pre-war traffic being restored by the Islamic Republic of Iran. The United States of America further undertakes to remove its forces from the proximity of the Islamic Republic of Iran within 30 days after the final Deal.
Upon the signing of this MoU, the Islamic Republic of Iran will make arrangements using its best efforts for the safe passage of commercial vessels, with no charge for 60 days only, from the Persian Gulf to the Sea of Oman, and vice versa. The traffic of commercial vessels will immediately start, and considering the need for removing the technical and military obstacles, and de-mining by the Islamic Republic of Iran, will be instated within 30 days. The Islamic Republic of Iran will conduct dialogue with the Sultanate of Oman, to define the future administration and maritime services in the Strait of Hormuz, in discussions with other Persian Gulf Littoral States, in line with applicable international law and the sovereign rights of coastal states of the Strait of Hormuz.
The United States of America undertakes, with regional partners, to develop a definitive mutually agreed plan with at least USD 300 Billion, for the reconstruction and economic development of the Islamic Republic of Iran. The mechanism for the implementation of this plan will be finalized as part of final Deal within 60 days. All required licenses, waivers and permissions needed for the relevant financial transactions will be granted by the United States of America.
The United States of America undertakes to terminate all types of sanctions against the Islamic Republic of Iran, including the United Nations Security Council resolutions, IAEA Board of Governors resolutions and all unilateral U.S. sanctions, primary and secondary, in an agreed upon schedule as part of the final Deal. The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States of America acknowledge the critical importance of the sanctions termination issue above mentioned and express their intentions to immediately address these issues in the negotiations in order to achieve mutual agreement on them.
The Islamic Republic of Iran reaffirms that it shall not procure or develop nuclear weapons. The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran have agreed to resolve the disposition of stockpiled enriched material pursuant to a mechanism that will be mutually agreed upon, in accordance with the schedule mentioned in paragraph 7, with the minimum methodology to be down blending on-site, under the supervision of the IAEA. The two Parties also agree to discuss the issue of enrichment, and other mutually agreed matters related to the Islamic Republic of Iran’s nuclear needs, based on a satisfactory framework being agreed upon in the final Deal. The final Deal will confirm the provisions of this paragraph. The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran acknowledge the critical importance of the nuclear issues above mentioned and express their intentions to immediately address these issues in the negotiations in order to achieve mutual agreement on them.
Pending the final Deal, the United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran agree to maintain the status quo; the Islamic Republic of Iran will maintain the current status quo of its nuclear program, and the United States of America will not impose any new sanctions, and will not deploy additional forces in the region.
The United States of America undertakes that immediately upon the signing of this MoU, and until the termination of sanctions, the U.S. Department of Treasury will issue waivers for the export of Iranian crude oil, petroleum products and derivatives, and all associated services including banking transactions, insurances, transportation, etc.
The United States of America undertakes to make fully available for use, the frozen or restricted funds and assets of the Islamic Republic of Iran upon the implementation of this MoU. The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran will mutually agree on the procedures related to the release of these funds during the negotiations. Such funds, whether retained in the original account or transferred, shall be made fully useable for payment to any ultimate beneficiary designated by the Central Bank of the Islamic Republic of Iran. The United States of America undertakes to issue all necessary licenses and authorizations accordingly.
The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran agree that an executive mechanism will be established to monitor the successful implementation of this MoU and the future compliance of the final Deal.
After signing this MoU, and subject to the beginning of the implementation of paragraphs 1, 4, 5, 10 and 11 of this MoU and the continuing implementation of these measures, the United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran will start negotiations regarding the final Deal exclusively on the other paragraphs.
The final Deal will be endorsed by a binding UNSC resolution.
aeqno
4d ago
A google image search for leopard + porcupine was very grim viewing. Are you sure about that?
aeqno
4d ago
By the way, is this the first deal with a foreign adversary that the American public hasn't been allowed to even read?
That right there should tell you everything. If the terms were even halfway decent for the US, Trump would be shaking that piece of paper in people's faces. The fact that he isn't means this is actually worse than Obama's deal or, even simpler, there is no deal.
aeqno
4d ago
Right, but the intel is whether there's anything left on the base worth targeting, and precisely where it is.
aeqno
4d ago
Once the US finally extricates itself from this nightmare, it's going to be a very long time until it once gain militarily engages Iran.
Iran is something of a geopolitical porcupine. The apex predator that is the United States can theoretically kill it, but it's not going to be a pretty sight.
I think Russia was helping supply a lot of the intel that helped Iran hit US and Gulf military assets.
aeqno
5d ago
Israel is not gonna let Hezbollah depopulate its northern territories at will. That's just not a thing that's going to happen.
aeqno
5d ago
Trump and Iran can sign whatever they want. There's no way Israel stops operations against Hezbollah.
aeqno
6d ago
Well, you see, by that time the first Pathe movie reels showing celebration rituals in the African jungle had already reached the British mainland, so by 1920 English culture was already Blacked.
aeqno
6d ago
It ruins the moment for us
What are you doing in that moment? Quietly contemplating the philosophical implications of ending a 53-year losing streak?
aeqno
18d ago
he is the kind of candidate who will have a scandal every other month all the way up to election day, and then a scandal every other year for his entire term
Sounds familiar. If that wasn't a problem for Republicans, why should it be for Democrats?
aeqno
19d ago
It was the bond market reaction that started the panic inside the admin.
I really wish I knew the specific lines they used to pull Trump back from the brink in whatever way would be least damaging to his ego. It couldn't have been easy considering that tariffs were his lifelong obsession (yes, Trump actually has some political principles).
aeqno
19d ago
DOGE was a great illustration of how the world actually works. Elon's boys effortlessly pushed their way past the weather nerds at NOAA, but they sure as hell didn't try that at CIA or the Pentagon, despite the billions vanishing into thin air at those two places. The whole project was a way to punish the faction of Trump's enemies that would respond to bullying with angry op-eds, not the ones that would actually kill him if he ever came after them. And the whole thing fell apart when Elon the extreme autist actually thought he was there to "transform Washington", lol.
Anyway, MAGA supporters are finding out (just like all of Trump's previous business partners and political allies) that Trump only looks out for Trump. He's now in full legacy mode. He couldn't give a fuck less what his supporters in Oklahoma are paying for gas and groceries when he could be the guy that makes Cuba a new US territory.
aeqno
1mo ago
Everyone's favorite looksmaxxer Clavicular was in the news last week due to his appearance in a Miami courtroom for some minor crime or other. What made this event go viral was the general agreement that he was brutally mogged by the surprisingly physically attractive judge.
Now, the odds that Clav just happened to get the best looking judge in the United States on his case are vanishingly small, which means that judge was specifically assigned to him. This follows a pattern I haven't seen anyone really discuss: All the institutions Clavicular has interacted with have sent their most physically attractive representative to deal with him. But doesn't that just validate his worldview? It's like the arguments against his position don't have enough merit to stand on their own. They have to be delivered by an absolute gigachad.
Think of the ABC interview. Like, no shit that guy says he's happy with how he looks. Does he think ABC would have let him anywhere near their precious cameras if he didn't look the way he does? Is it some coincidence that he and his fellow TV presenters tend to be seriously good-looking? Do ugly people just have poor interviewing skills?
What I want to see is the message of character uber alles delivered to Clav by a guy whose appearance makes women want to cross the street. I think he's hit upon something fundamental, but he's putting people off because he's going about it in the most autistic way possible.
aeqno
1mo ago
Where does El-Sayed fall on other core Democrat principles such as trans rights?
aeqno
1mo ago
trans issues are entirely theoretical
Yeah, I bet the Noem family would've said the same thing at the beginning of the year.
In the Evangelical circles you run in, this stuff is entirely theoretical right up until it isn't.
aeqno
1mo ago
Thanks to AI, we now have the movie:
aeqno
1mo ago
People always say things like this, but where I am, I always see plenty of white women with Indian men.
I don't think women are as put off by South Asian males as the Internet likes to believe.
aeqno
3mo ago
basically an Onion headline about some guy remembering how great and trouble-free the world used to be
https://theonion.com/area-man-always-nostalgic-for-four-years-ago-1819566584/
What exactly is Israel supposed to do? Not make a fuss about jihadist Muslims killing their citizens because it will mess up Trump's "peace deal" (read: humiliating capitulation virtually unparalleled in US history)?
If Trump wants to prostrate himself to the IRGC, he's free to do so, but when the Israelis said "Never again", it wasn't just an empty statement.
What's really funny is that Israel's enemies don't understand that it's America that protects them from Israel. The dissolution of the friendship between the US and Israel is not good news for Iran, Syria, etc.
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