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unique


				

				

				
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joined 2024 October 24 22:31:29 UTC

				

User ID: 3307

unique


				
				
				

				
0 followers   follows 0 users   joined 2024 October 24 22:31:29 UTC

					

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User ID: 3307

I'm now reasonably confident that I've conquered my pornography addiction.

I decided to take on my pornography addiction shortly after getting married. My beautiful and talented new wife fell pregnant almost immediately, and the weight of my new responsibilities led me to audit and tackle my addictions. My worst addictions were all screentime related. I was addicted to porn, social media, general scrolling, and YouTube. I was one of those zoomers who couldn't resist the soothing mind wipe of the phone. My lesser bad habits were sugar and alcohol. My overall burden of addiction was not debilitating, but I knew that I would need to improve to uphold my own standards in work and fatherhood as my life became increasingly complicated.

My porn use was approximately daily, but more frequent whenever I was suffering acutely (i.e. a nasty bout of illness, a stressful time at work, etc.). I tried quitting with willpower alone several times, but that was insufficient. Making it inaccessible was a crucial crutch.

My technical solutions:

  • I set 1.1.1.1 family as my home's DNS server, with no fallback options. This fairly effectively blocks most hardcore pornography.

  • I followed the instructions here to do the same with my phone.

  • I set up a pi-hole and adblock on all of my devices to eliminate all advertisements, which can act as bait for my bad habits.

I also set lengthy xkcd style passwords for settings for these configurations, and wrote them down on a piece of paper buried in a drawer, to make the process of undoing these configurations work-intensive.

These changes were transformative. I occasionally found myself trying to relapse. I would try to visit problematic pages reflexively without any consideration. Hitting the blank DNS blocked page always knocked me out of that loop. Now I've gone ~6 months without porn use.

I've since applied the same general strategy to cutting down my garbage screen time in general. My wife and I canceled all streaming services, and reduced our media consumption to blu-rays from the local library. Choosing the media we consume days in advance has made us much more intentional and measured in our media consumption. I also blocked sites like facebook and reddit entirely.

The last addiction that I'm still struggling with is YouTube. I really enjoy YouTube so I haven't culled it entirely, but I have mitigated its addictiveness with browser extensions like socialFocus. These extensions eliminate video thumbnails, autoplay, recommendations on the video page, short form content etc. These changes make it harder to get sucked into a viewing loop, and make hysterical content less appealing. This has reduced my YouTube viewing time, but I still want to make further progress at paring my viewing down to only top-tier content.

Now that I have my digital addictions reasonably under control, I realize just what a toll I was suffering by letting others capture so much of my attention with agit-prop, demoralization propaganda, and superstimulus. I feel like I now have a greater emotional reserve. I can absorb bad news and chaotic situations more graciously, and I am enjoying life more. I feel like it's been particularly helpful in my parenthood, because I have more time and attention for my 9-month-old, and I can more easily withstand her tantrums without getting exasperated.

Next up will be my sugar and alcohol habits. Neither of these are particularly severe, but I do use these substances habitually more than I would prefer. Ideally I'd like to contain my excessive consumption of both refined sugar and alcohol to special occasions. I'm interested in feedback from the community on how best to tackle these.

If you have the patience and willingness to deal with Facebook marketplace you could get a used herman miller mirra at this price point.

I agree with your take wholeheartedly. Forward leaning governement investments in technology, education and science produced a lot of the prosperity that we currently enjoy in the USA. Seeing these things dismantled over a quasi-religious dispute is disheartening to say the least.

This trend applies to state budgets too. Here in MA our largest line item will soon be home healthcare for the elderly. This program is a triple FU to young people between the wealth transfer from young to old, the way it keeps housing resources tied up in an inefficient manner, and the pitiful wages being paid out to the PCA workers themselves.

Cutting it, or even reducing its growth is politically impossible. The media coverage of even feeble efforts to rein in the spending has been viscious.

Other comments have already touched on what to say, but I think the most underrated and under practiced aspect of speechcraft is intonation and annunciation.

Think of your voice as a musical instrument. Consider singing lessons if you've never taken any. Playing wind blown instruments can also be helpful. Practice opening your throat, lifting your chin and pressing the words out with your diaphragm. Avoid monotone. Practice punchy delivery and learn to get visibly worked up when you're driving home an argument. Listen to the great audio book readers and podcast hosts for exemplars.

Humans are simple creatures. We respond to an excellent delivery in a visceral way. I would focus on this aspect until you master it before worrying about the other aspects. A sloppy speach with excellent delivery is better than a great speach and a poor delivery.