I need help deciding on some medium term (1-3 month) life goals. I'm a college freshman at (small American liberal arts college) and feel pretty listless right now. I grew up in a pretty rural environment and got in on the condition I spent the first semester studying abroad. I spent said semester in London, attending a joke college and having lots of type 1 fun. I met some great people, hostel-travelled through the Baltics, and lived it up in the city (read: tons of alcohol). While that semester didn't add intellectual development or employability, I do think I grew as a person let off some adolescent male steam.
This semester, the pendulum swung back the other direction and I find myself once again immersed in rural nothingness. The college "town" is so small it's classified as a hamlet. I don't really miss the high life that much and recognise that I'll be able to travel during the summers and once I graduate (and hopefully attend grad school abroad). There is now a sort of void in my life that living in the city filled. While I can still go "out" on Fridays to parties, it just doesn't feel the same, and the reality is I'm not built for the frat life. So I've found myself with a lot of time on my hands and not much to do with it. For the first half of the semester I've been playing video games in my free time but they suck up too much time and attention that I should be using to be productive.
Ideally, whatever goal(s) I set should be achievable in the next 1-3 months, approximately the end of the semester. This is to keep them self-contained, as I plan to spend summer grinding my ass off taking community college courses at home.
Here's a few goals I'm considering, roughly categorized:
Health-I'm 5'10" 150lbs and pretty lean enough that I have abs for the first time in my life. While this is nice, I don't really have much muscle mass or real strength (November-January were a brutal cut). Anything health related has a triple benefit in that it makes me healthier, helps me pull baddies, and makes me feel good.
Do a muscle up. I've been doing pull-ups regularly since the start of the pandemic and right now my max is about 15. I've never been able to achieve a muscle up and it would be cool to do so. Spending time grinding calisthenics would help me focus and build a my daily routine.
Really commit to going to the gym 6 days a week. Me and one other scrawny freshman have been going to the gym fairly regularly but I find myself cancelling frequently for various laziness-adjacent reasons. I probably average 3.5x a week right now while he's going 5x. This would again build my daily routine and I would probably also gain muscle.
Start running again. While most of my life in London was total degeneracy, I consistently ran around 5k 3x a week. My cardio definitely improved and running makes me feel like a better person. Taking this up again would have tangible health benefits and would make my dad proud (He's a big marathon guy).
Career-This is unfortunately a segment of life I'm really lacking in. Right now, I want to be a research biologist, although this might change. My last real work experience was at a frozen yogurt shop in junior year of high school. The only relevant work I've done is a pretty cool biotech class senior year where I learned some simple lab techniques (PCR, SDS-PAGE, cell culture) and the second semester was a small research project (Does Fe16 and ampicillin work synergistically against E. coli? We still don't know!). What I could do in the next three months is kinda ephemeral but could have some solid rewards. It's important to note that I'm at a small liberal arts college so the professors generally do support interested students. Crap I will do but have not done is update my LinkedIn and write a proper resume.
Local volunteering. Helping kids with STEM stuff at a local middle school would at least put hours and give me something to put on my resume. I like working with kids so this could be fun.
Network like crazy. I have some relations to people in biotech and it would theoretically be possible to network my way into a summer internship but this seems really unlikely because the internship season is over and I don't have the great charisma this would require.
There are a few clubs on campus that could be relevant on a resume or that would just benefit me as a worker, things like the public speaking club and the various newspapers. I have also heard that they have a low bar to entry.
Make the Dean's List. This requires a 3.5 gpa which shouldn't be a huge struggle for me but will require concerted effort and some sacrifice in my quality of life (2am studying).
I can't actually think of anything else in the short term. My school does do summer research programs and I submitted a form (and talked to the relevant profs) but as a freshman everyone has priority over me. I don't think I'm a horrible candidate compared to other freshman because of the biotech class but I can't compete with people who've taken 300 level classes.
Social-My dad is borderline autistic and I'm an only child, it's only natural that my social skills are stunted. While I can be socially active when around people I know and like, in unfamiliar group settings I can really quickly shut down. Right now, approaching a group of people I don't know unless I'm borderline blackout drunk is damn near impossible for me. Maybe I'm coping but I'm not actually super upset at the status quo because I do have friends and I enjoy their company and don't feel like I need other people. At the same time, starting a semester behind is a bit isolating and it would be nice to get to know the rest of the school.
Make more guy friends. It's nice to have more dude-bro head nod/dap-up friendships and reaching out to people who aren't part of my in-group (late admit) would be outside my comfort zone. The best way to do this would be to join one of the amateur sports clubs, which also double as party-throwing mechanisms. Right now rugby looks cool to me.
Make more girl friends. I'm from California and have grown up around enough gay people that I can flip a switch and be good friends with them. I'm also a strong believer in separating horniness from friendship so I wouldn't be plagued by the gay-best-friend struggle of being attracted to my friends. The issue with this is that I don't really do stuff that puts me in contact with girls right now, and I'm not particularly inclined to go to book club or anything.
More serious relationship. In London I got romantically entangled with a girl. It's been really on/off and the general situation around "us" is awful: her friends hate me, my friends hate her friends, two guys I know like her, I don't like her as a person. She wants to start actually dating now that we're on campus and I just want her body. Overall indulging in her (responding to texts etc.) would be pretty easy but if anybody found out there would be blowback from all the aforementioned issues. I'm pretty sure after spring break I'm going to engage with her more, but be clear to set boundaries. To those who say: "Just get with another girl" she's got some sort of mind control over me, and I hate and am bad at dating and rizz.
I'd really appreciate feedback on these goals, is there anything I should add/change/remove? I can't do all of these, what would you guys recommend prioritising? Do you have any alternate suggestions or questions? Right now, I think I'm going for Dean's List and running, and will probably cave to the girl. Joining a club sport would be a great add-on but I don't know if it's doable time wise. Just writing this has been great for mentally mapping out my priorities.
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I need help deciding on some medium term (1-3 month) life goals. I'm a college freshman at (small American liberal arts college) and feel pretty listless right now. I grew up in a pretty rural environment and got in on the condition I spent the first semester studying abroad. I spent said semester in London, attending a joke college and having lots of type 1 fun. I met some great people, hostel-travelled through the Baltics, and lived it up in the city (read: tons of alcohol). While that semester didn't add intellectual development or employability, I do think I grew as a person let off some adolescent male steam.
This semester, the pendulum swung back the other direction and I find myself once again immersed in rural nothingness. The college "town" is so small it's classified as a hamlet. I don't really miss the high life that much and recognise that I'll be able to travel during the summers and once I graduate (and hopefully attend grad school abroad). There is now a sort of void in my life that living in the city filled. While I can still go "out" on Fridays to parties, it just doesn't feel the same, and the reality is I'm not built for the frat life. So I've found myself with a lot of time on my hands and not much to do with it. For the first half of the semester I've been playing video games in my free time but they suck up too much time and attention that I should be using to be productive.
Ideally, whatever goal(s) I set should be achievable in the next 1-3 months, approximately the end of the semester. This is to keep them self-contained, as I plan to spend summer grinding my ass off taking community college courses at home.
Here's a few goals I'm considering, roughly categorized:
Health-I'm 5'10" 150lbs and pretty lean enough that I have abs for the first time in my life. While this is nice, I don't really have much muscle mass or real strength (November-January were a brutal cut). Anything health related has a triple benefit in that it makes me healthier, helps me pull baddies, and makes me feel good.
Career-This is unfortunately a segment of life I'm really lacking in. Right now, I want to be a research biologist, although this might change. My last real work experience was at a frozen yogurt shop in junior year of high school. The only relevant work I've done is a pretty cool biotech class senior year where I learned some simple lab techniques (PCR, SDS-PAGE, cell culture) and the second semester was a small research project (Does Fe16 and ampicillin work synergistically against E. coli? We still don't know!). What I could do in the next three months is kinda ephemeral but could have some solid rewards. It's important to note that I'm at a small liberal arts college so the professors generally do support interested students. Crap I will do but have not done is update my LinkedIn and write a proper resume.
Social-My dad is borderline autistic and I'm an only child, it's only natural that my social skills are stunted. While I can be socially active when around people I know and like, in unfamiliar group settings I can really quickly shut down. Right now, approaching a group of people I don't know unless I'm borderline blackout drunk is damn near impossible for me. Maybe I'm coping but I'm not actually super upset at the status quo because I do have friends and I enjoy their company and don't feel like I need other people. At the same time, starting a semester behind is a bit isolating and it would be nice to get to know the rest of the school.
I'd really appreciate feedback on these goals, is there anything I should add/change/remove? I can't do all of these, what would you guys recommend prioritising? Do you have any alternate suggestions or questions? Right now, I think I'm going for Dean's List and running, and will probably cave to the girl. Joining a club sport would be a great add-on but I don't know if it's doable time wise. Just writing this has been great for mentally mapping out my priorities.
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