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Turbulent_Singularity


				

				

				
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User ID: 3294

Turbulent_Singularity


				
				
				

				
0 followers   follows 0 users   joined 2024 October 15 20:00:48 UTC

					

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User ID: 3294

The reason I have a hard time accepting this is that, in hindsight, an implied condition of my request for a steel man of Trump is that it would also not negatively effect the reasons to vote for him. It's kind of hard to say "Trump is either incredibly dumb or incredibly crazy" as a way to defend him while simultaneously saying he should be president (to be clear, I'm not saying you think that he should or shouldn't be president)

The best reason to not vote for Trump is all the 2020 election stuff, so that steel man is probably the best argument to defend Trump in his 2020 election scheme, but simultaneously adds a whole new best reason to not vote for him.

Thanks. I agree this an important point. To add on, even if Trump's plan was to simply have people object, debate, then reject the proper slate without using his slate, that would still be wrong since the only reason to reject the proper slate would be if they believed there was fraud. So, Trump pushing for this is him pushing that there was fraud or other irregularities so extreme that they shouldn't even get a slate of electors.

Trump clearly believed that the election was stolen, often even when everyone else in the room was telling him to give it up.

What would it take to convince you that Trump knew there was no outcome-determinative fraud? More generally, what would it take to convince you of any fraud? Say Alice gets a check in the mail signed by Bob. Alice calls Bob and asks about the check. Bob says he didn't sign it. Alice asks her check forgery friend to see if the check is real and they say it is fake. Alice goes to multiple different banks and they all say the check is fake. Alice then tries to cash the check. At what point would you say Alice knows the check is fake? Or do you say Alice still doesn't know the check is fake?

Those cases were all spurned on lack of standing. This is lazy argumenting.

Not all of them. And even for those dismissed on standing, the Judges frequently talked about the merits anyway. If I had to guess, they probably did this just in case they got overruled on appeal as a way to speed up the legal process given how time sensitive this was. That way, if the standing portion got overruled, the appeals could keep the overall dismissal since they touched on the merits. Even if they all were dismissed on standing, there is still the problem of people that Trump himself picked repeatedly telling him there was no outcome-determinative fraud.

This is the rhetorical trick. The disputed 2020 election results are an "outcome," so disputing them becomes "changing the outcome". Neat. 🙄

I don't understand the critique/trick. I wasn't trying to make a grand statement here, just trying to say "he thought this thing and then acted on those thoughts". It would be the same as me saying "Alice knows the check is fake and decided to cash it anyway". It's more of a connecting statement to tie his thoughts to his actions and not anything else.

Election Night 2020 Florida wraps up results early, great results pour in for Trump, then half a dozen swing states stop counting ballots simultaneously before huge 6am Biden drops. For four years now I have been told that this doesn't count as evidence, for no particular reason. You could try to prove that the 2020 election was legitimate, if all the ballot chains of custody hadn't already been destroyed.

Of course it is evidence, it is just very weak evidence. Another theory consistent with this set of facts is that, in many states, mail in votes and early votes were not allowed to start being counted until election day, so, the surge in mail in and early voting from COVID meant that results would take a while to count. Combine that with the partisan split between election day voting and mail in/early voting and you get what we saw in 2020. If you followed any of the people closely covering the election, you'd know they all said this would happen months prior. Counterpoint that I've heard a lot so I'll preempt it: "that is just evidence they were preparing to rig it beforehand". My reply is that is certainly possible, but now you need to convince me that this plot is somehow so grand that random journalists are talking about it, yet so secretive that the best election fraud evidence is vague statistical maybe anomalies or super unclear video of something maybe wrong happening? That seems incredibly unlikely.

Show me the text you want a steelman before you editorialize it.

I worded that section poorly in hindsight. Basically, I listed a bunch of critiques of Trump, so the steel man I'm asking for would be the best argument against those critiques. The critiques are obviously framed against Trump cause they are Trump critiques, so the the argument against the Trump critiques can accept or deny the frame as it sees fit.

What do you think you're saying, exactly? Everybody knows, including Trump, that his alternate electors were not the officially certified electors. That's not the argument!

Well, those electors did sign pieces of paper saying they were the officially certified electors. And Trump and co. are all trying to say "use this slate, use this slate" which only makes sense if the slate was certified, otherwise see the next section.

What's the point of providing alternate electors if you don't attempt to get them counted as alternates? Note that this is completely precedented: The disputed election of 1876 faced a number of alternate elector slates.

Perhaps, assuming that Trump genuinely believed there was fraud, trying to get his slate certified by the state legislature was fine. But, since he didn't, he shouldn't have tried to have his slates be used. The election of 1876 is precisely the reason they created a law to say what happens when there are disputed slates of electors. However, what we have with Trump isn't a case of "which slate was properly certified?" (maybe we do assuming you agree with me above that Trump thought his slate was certified), it was a case "one slate was properly certified, this other slate wasn't, but Trump wants the other slate to be picked anyways".

If the 2020 election were stolen, then the most important norm was already broken before Trump did anything.

I agree with this. In fact, if it was stolen then not only would J6 be justified, much further violence would be justified.

What is the steel man for the Trump fake elector scheme being no big deal? To be clear, I'm not talking about a steel man of Trump's behavior as it relates to J6 itself (the tweets, the speech, the reaction to the crowd, etc.), I'm talking exclusively about the scheme where, according to the Democrat/J6 report/Jack Smith narrative, Trump conspired to overturn the election by trying to convince various states, and later Pence, to use a different slate of electors. Here is the basic narrative (largely rephrased from this comment along with the Jack Smith indictment):

  1. There was no outcome-determinative fraud in the 2020 election (in the event someone replies with evidence there was, you would also need to prove that Trump knew it at the time to justify his actions)

  2. Trump's advisers, advisers that were appointed by himself, repeatedly told him there was no outcome-determinative fraud after looking into it. Despite this, Trump still insisted there was outcome-determinative fraud. Trump still insisted even after he started losing court cases left and right about there being outcome-determinative fraud. Assuming 1 is true this means that Trump is either knowingly lying or willfully ignoring people he himself picked

  3. Trump, despite knowing there wasn't outcome-determinative fraud (assuming 2), still tried to change the outcome of the election. First, he tried the courts where he knowingly lied about there being outcome-determinative fraud in court filings. When that failed he tried contacting various state legislatures and other state officials to ask them to certify his slate of electors. When that failed, his final option was to try to convince Pence to either use his slate of electors to win (a slate of electors not officially certified despite claiming to be certified), or to invalidate enough state's electors to make it so no one gets 270 electors, throwing the election to the house where Trump would then hopefully win given it becomes 1 state 1 vote there.

With that narrative, here are the Trump critiques that I want a steel man defense of:

  1. Trump knowingly lied about there being outcome-determinative fraud in the 2020 election. This is wrong.

        a. In the alternative, Trump is so dumb that he continued to believe there was outcome-determinative fraud despite evidence to the contrary. This disqualifies him from any political power.
    
  2. Trump tried to use this lie to change the results of the election. This is wrong.

  3. Trump used this lie to get slates of electors to falsely certify they were the chosen electors of that state. This is wrong

  4. Trump tried to convince various state legislatures that these were the lawfully chosen slate of electors and to decertify the Biden slate and certify his slate. This is wrong.

        a. In the event you think this was legal, Trump tried to convince various state legislatures to break norms that would be tantamount to a constitutional coup. This is wrong.
    
  5. Trump tried to convince Pence to step outside of his constitutional authority to make him president. This is wrong

        a. In the event you think this was legal, Trump tried to convince Pence to break norms that would be tantamount to a constitutional coup. This is wrong.
    

The strongest steel man that I can come up with involved the case of Hawaii in 1960

The New York Times summarizes the situation,

In one of the first legal memos laying out the details of the fake elector scheme, a pro-Trump lawyer named Kenneth Chesebro justified the plan by pointing to an odd episode in American history: a quarrel that took place in Hawaii during the 1960 presidential race between Senator John F. Kennedy and Vice President Richard M. Nixon.

The results of the vote count in Hawaii remained in dispute — by about 100 ballots — even as a crucial deadline for the Electoral College to meet and cast its votes drew near. A recount was underway but it did not appear as though it would be completed by the time the Electoral College was expected to convene, on Dec. 19, 1960.

Despite the unfolding recount, Mr. Nixon claimed he had won the state, and the governor formally certified a slate of electors declaring him the victor. At the same time, Mr. Kennedy’s campaign, holding out hope that he would eventually prevail, drafted its own slate of electors, claiming that he had in fact won the race.

In his memo, Mr. Chesebro suggested that this unusual situation set a precedent not only for drafting and submitting two competing slates of electors to the Electoral College, but also for pushing back the latest possible time for settling the election results to Jan. 6 — the date set by federal law for a joint session of Congress to certify the final count of electors.

The competing slate conundrum in Hawaii was ultimately put to rest when Mr. Kennedy prevailed in the recount, and a new governor of Hawaii certified a freshly drafted slate of his electors.

Then, on Jan. 6, 1961, Mr. Nixon, overseeing the congressional certification session in his role as president of the Senate, received all three slates of electors — his own, the initial Kennedy slate and the certified Kennedy slate — but agreed that the last one should be formally accepted.

While this is the closest prior case of something similar, and thus no big deal, what Trump did is still different enough that it can be meaningfully distinguished:

  1. Both Nixon and Kennedy had good reason to believe they won. Trump didn't.

  2. Kennedy's first slate of electors, the ones that weren't certified, weren't the ones eventually counted. Only the ones certified by the state were counted. Trump's false electors were never certified, so asking Pence to certify them was completely unprecedented.

  3. Nixon accepted that Hawaii had final say over what was and wasn't their slate of electors. Trump didn't and continually insisted his slate was correct.

Another argument that I don't think is strong, but nonetheless might be the strongest steel man:

it was legal or it was in a gray area of legality and Trump had every right to push the boundary to stay in power as long as he doesn't break the law

This is not a strong argument because then it would've just been a constitutional coup and those are still wrong. The way many Latin American countries have constitutional coups is that they stack the court that allows them to reinterpret their constitution to give them more power or that allows them to violate term limits. This is still wrong despite technically being legal. The problem is the norm breaking, not the technical legality.

The military seems promising, but apparently it is huge pain to join with an ADHD diagnosis from what I just googled. (I saw "medical evaluation" as part of the recruitment process after googling what the ASVAB was and then wondered how ADHD would apply). That would've been nice to know prior to going to a psychiatrist.

I have considered trades as well, but I'm unsure if the physical health problems are worth it. I suppose that just might be the best option left out of a bad group.

I appreciate the post regardless. This is useful info since you usually hear stories of how people get better and fix everything. I generally have a low risk tolerance (I'm the type to tell my friends or relatives to just invest in the S&P instead of random crypto or to buy the S&P instead of real estate and renting it out), but it makes sense that I'd need to change that as the situation gets more desperate. I will keep this in the back of my mind as I try other strategies.

Okay, this is making much more sense. I definitely have the energy, but not the discipline. I will sometimes cook even when I can order food, but never consistently. I will sometimes randomly clean my room, but never consistently. I will spend hours troubleshooting a game so I can pirate it or make the mods work, and then not even play it afterwords (does anyone else do this? I know "spend hours modding skyrim and then play for 30 minutes and quit" is a thing, but I haven't heard anything similar about trying to get a pirated game to work). I also do walk to the corner store when I want a specific drink instead of just grabbing what's in my fridge and I do spend time reviewing and thinking about my play in competitive video games. So, I think I do have the energy, but not the discipline.

Similarly, childish "no movie tonight because I didn't finish this paper first" works. I find with this kind of bargaining that I do with myself, I end up enjoying the rewards more because I worked to balance them in my mind.

I've tried similar things to this, but I either do something else I want to do that isn't part of the rule, literally forget my own rule and break it by mistake, or just break my own rule intentionally (and then feel really bad about it afterwards)

look at your lifestyle and see what small habits you can build up to help you cultivate a sense of ownership and responsibility. Judging from your post there's a bunch of stuff you don't feel responsible for, both in your own life and that of others, and so naturally you are letting it slack.

This is interesting. Maybe it can explain why I manage to go to work but not go to class? When I don't go to work, it's just a few people that work per shift, so I know it would be a huge hassle for the manager to call someone in, or if no one can come in, everyone else would just have to work harder to cover for me being gone. So, I feel responsible for all the extra work I'm putting on them. However, when I miss class, especially big lectures, I am able to slip through the cracks. No one really cares one way or the other if I show up or not. This also might explain why with some classes, it takes longer for me to stop going. With those classes, I usually made acquaintances with someone in the class, or I participated in class with the professor a lot in a small, discussion type class. A lot of those classes I still end up not showing up to eventually, but some of them I managed to actually pass. I need to think about how this fits other situations in my life

I have to say though, if this is correct, the solution is scary to me because it is basically "be more intertwined and interdependent with other people" which seems opposite to my goal of independence.

You are right I don't need one, but the lifetime earnings premium you get from a college degree is still very high despite the recent "college is a waste of money" trend. The lifetime earnings premium from a degree is still there even if you include super expensive for profit private colleges and stereotypical no money humanities degrees. If you exclude those, the numbers favor a degree even more.

I'm having a hard time differentiating between the two. When I read

Are you somebody who chronically doesn't do things you need to do, or are you somebody who just chronically doesn't do things, full stop?

I was thinking I was the former, but then reading

if it tends to go to "the lowest-effort available alternative at any given moment", you may have a problem with energy, rather than discipline

has me second guessing myself and now I think it's the latter. I think "lowest-effort available alternative" is what's really confusing me. I'm guessing scrolling social media is a "lowest-effort available alternative", but is playing a video game that? Maybe it depends on the game? Maybe going back to that "comfort game" counts, but playing a new game doesn't? Does going to a movie theater or playing a tcg count? I'm guessing that one doesn't as low effort.

When I'm not working, I'm usually on the computer where I browse social media or play video games. If I'm really into a game, I will play that a lot, otherwise I'm usually on social media, mostly youtube. I am the type who gets super into things, so if I'm super into a game, I will play it a ton, research a ton about it, think about it a lot, etc. Similarly, if I find a nice youtube video or other social media post, I will go through all the creator's stuff to find more, or I will find more content on that topic. Around once a week or two, I will go out and do something. Usually it's to play a TCG, sometimes a movie, sometimes other things, and that's not including going to the therapist/psychiatrist.

I want a degree so that I can get a job that pays well enough to let me live by myself and be independent. I do not want to be dependent on my mother my whole life.

This is true even in Canada. I was incredibly shocked when I found out that, under Canadian law, evidence could be obtained by the police in a way that is illegal and violates your rights, but it could still be allowed in as evidence during trial if it didn't "bring the administration of justice into disrepute". Illegally obtained evidence isn't automatically excluded like in the US

Does anyone else feel weirded out by their past?

Yes, absolutely. I spend more time than is healthy thinking, "what if..."

All the guys I hung out with morphed into generic stereotypes in many ways, happy but just very bland. All the girls I wanted to talk to at the time just to feel good about myself dont seem that attractive anymore.

My first thought reading this is that almost everybody looks like a generic stereotype when looked at from a distance. For the girls, maybe it was status that made you attracted. So, once you left that particular status hierarchy, the attraction left as well. (I am way less confident in the status idea than the stereotype idea)

(Reposting in the latest Wellness Wednesday following a suggestion)

I am seeking advice on how to fix a chronic, persistent, extreme lack of discipline.

I am currently 25, live with my mother, I have failed out of college (again) and I currently work part time at a grocery store for minimum wage within walking distance (I still don't have my driver's license). The reason I failed out of college both times was that I just didn't show up to class. When I did show up, I passed the exams with no real problem and I managed to pass a few classes with that. I have yet to tell my mother I failed the second time. I went to a 4 year college, failed out of that, then went to a 2 year community college. The only reason I managed to get a degree was that it was during COVID years, so the standards were super lax. I'm pretty sure I missed a few final exams, didn't hand in almost any assignments and yet somehow I still passed. After passing, I went back to the 4 year school and went back to failing.

I only have the job because, after I finished the 2 year degree, I didn't sign up for classes for the 4 year college in time, so I was doing nothing for months. My mother kept telling me to get a job since I wasn't in school and was threatening to kick me out if I didn't. She gave me multiple deadlines that I blew past with no consequence, but I could tell she was getting increasingly fed up. I ended up getting a job and I'm pretty sure if I waited a month or two longer, I would've been kicked out.

After the second time I failed, I decided to go to a therapist. She told me to see a psychiatrist for ADHD. He eventually said I have ADHD, and even though I am still quite skeptical of the diagnosis (for reasons I can go into if needed someone asked, so I answered here), I have been taking the Methylphenidate ER that I've been prescribed. I am only doing this because my mother has great insurance so all the therapists, doctors and medication is all paid for fully by insurance, but that will only last until I am 26 (close to a year from now). She also doesn't know I am going to a therapist, doctor or that I am taking any medicine.

With regards to my job, for reasons that I still do not know, I am able to go to my job without missing a day. I am almost always a few minutes late (anywhere from 0 to 10 minutes), but given the super low standards of a minimum wage job, I never get reprimanded in any way for it. But, I still always show up, unlike my school classes. This confusion is part of what prompted me to go to therapy. I have repeatedly tried to figure out why I am late and to fix it, but nothing really worked.

So, the question is: what do I do? Here is me listing all the options I can think of

  1. Continue going to therapy and seeing the psychiatrist. Both haven't been helpful so far (I've seen two therapists so far. the first abruptly told me she was leaving that practice. Both have been similarly effective), but maybe they just need more time. Hopefully, I will learn why I didn't go to class and fix that, then I will go back to school, finish my degree and get a job like "normal". My worry: it's been 3 months of this so far and I can't see any progress, so I am not too optimistic. Plus, I'm not sure I can hide me failing from my mother much longer and if she does find out, I'm pretty sure I will be kicked out. Maybe I need a new therapist? If it's not part of insurance, as all the good therapists seem to be, I don't think I'd be able to afford it with my minimum wage job. And, even though every therapist that doesn't take insurance says they offer it cheaper for people that find it hard to pay, I'm not sure I'd qualify since, even though I make little money, my mother makes decent money.

  2. Give up on college, give up on therapy, the psychiatry, the adhd medication and try to find a job with the 2 year degree I have. Hope that what happened with me not going to college doesn't happen at my new job. My worry: doing this without understanding why I failed in college seems very risky. I'm also not sure I can find a good enough job to move out with just a 2 year degree.

  3. Tell my mother. Hope she gives me another chance. But then what? What is my plan then? No idea. Plus, I am unsure I would even get another chance (or if I deserve one). I mean, would you give me one? I don't think I would.

  4. Continue working my dead end job. Eventually, my mother will figure out I failed, maybe she'll give me another chance, maybe not, eventually I get kicked out. (doom scenario)

Am I missing any options? What should I do? How do I fix this extreme lack of discipline? How do I fix this extreme laziness? Have you, or anyone you know, fixed this extreme lack of discipline? How?

If it matters, for context I live in the New York metropolitan area. Also, "kicked out" in this context doesn't mean me being homeless. I'm not 100% sure, but it probably means me either living with my dad, or my brother. However, if I don't solve my issues, they would probably kick me out eventually as well, and after that, who knows.

My experience is that procrastination and self-sabotage comes from perfectionism and self doubt

I initially thought that this 100% didn't apply to me since I didn't do simple assignments as well the long form ones, but now I am thinking of a few examples of me avoiding things cause I can't do it perfectly, so I need to reflect on this more. In particular, I'm thinking of times at work when I avoid doing things because I don't know exactly how some minor thing should be done, e.g. "should the sticker be like this, or rotated 90 degrees? Should I ask the manager? No, that's a super dumb question over a minor thing. I'll just do something else" That also made me think of times I avoid doing household chores because I don't know how exactly my mother wants it to be done. (I am the prototypical "weaponized incompetence" trope that women on social media complain about)

Were you so afraid that if you tried and failed, it would be a blow to your self-concept, and so you stopped yourself from trying and guaranteed a failure that you could say wasn’t because you were too dumb?

It's very hard for me to try to remember my emotions. My therapist keeps trying to get me to remember what it feels like when I didn't go to class and I find it very hard. This seems plausible, so I will try to think about it more.

Maybe you struggle less in your minimum wage job because you consider it below you, easy, and therefore unthreatening? You can imagine yourself being some kind of starving artist, an undervalued renegade, maybe?

This definitely resonated with me. This instantly made me think of all the times I had an ego and thought my coworkers were dumb. I need to think about this more.

My first therapist was very nice, but, other than telling me to go to a psychiatrist, I can't really say she was helpful. I've only seen the new one a few times so far, but she's been more thought provoking than the last one even if I can still tell that she is fresh out of school like the last one.

Have you looked into what blocks you from doing things, what benefits procrastination provides you in the moment, like emotional relief, even if it destroys your long term goals? Or do you not even get to the point where you know you have an assignment due Sunday night and it’s Sunday at 3pm and you decide not to try?

Emotional relief sounds accurate because I usually play games or watch youtube and avoid thinking about the assignment or other thing I have to do. I am usually aware of the assignment well before it is due, so I definitely know when it's due and don't forget.

The associate's is in accounting, and ideally, I would've stayed in school to get all the credits to become a CPA, but then my plan shifted to just finishing the degree, finding work, then doing the CPA college credits later on. Then, I failed enough accounting classes that the repeat policy meant I couldn't continue an accounting degree, so I switched to another business degree. But then I failed enough classes that I can't even finish any business degrees at that college anymore. So, if I do go back to school, I'd need to go to a different college since my accounting bachelor's is what I am closest to finishing.

I have plenty of reasons for against my ADHD diagnosis, so I think it's easier if I list it in a roughly chronological order

  • I only really considered that I might have ADHD after a streamer said they had it, got medicated and then was way more productive and focused. They described it in a way that felt like it could apply to me. Points for: this made me seriously consider ADHD Points against: am I just being influenced into thinking I have ADHD like all those patients that news articles and doctors on the psychiatry subreddit complain about? Am I just another one of those self-diagnosed tiktok people?

  • I did a lot of research on ADHD prior to going to a therapist Points for: A lot of the questionnaires I did said I had ADHD (I looked for official, actually used questionnaires, not shoddy websites) Points against: not every questionnaire said I had ADHD and when it did say I had it, more often than not I was barely within the ADHD range. Also, am I just Barnum effecting myself with these questionnaires?

  • I went to a therapist and she recommended I see a psychiatrist to test for ADHD Points for: a neutral unbiased person said I might have ADHD. Big point for. Points against: she was clearly just reading a questionnaire that was very similar to ones I had done myself while researching it. She was also young and seemingly fresh out of school. So, did I unintentionally coach myself by researching ADHD beforehand?

  • The psychiatrist eventually diagnosed me with ADHD Points for: a real, professional psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD. Very big point for. Points against: the psychiatrist initially said I probably didn't have ADHD. Then, I did a TOVA test, slightly landed in the ADHD range of the test, and now he thinks I have ADHD and tried to instantly prescribe me medication (I declined and wanted to think about it first. I eventually agreed). When I later researched computer ADHD tests, they did not seem very reliable compared to taking a patient history, which this doctor didn't do. The psychiatrist also tried to get me to do a genetic test to see which medication "matched" my genes, but when I researched that, the evidence for it being effective seemed weak. So, I have a slight hunch that he is just trying to get more money from me.

  • I started Methylphenidate ER Points for: I feel slightly more focused and haven't really felt "wired" Points against: even after two dosage increases (I'm on 36mg right now. The other day, I took 45mg using leftover, lower dosed, pills from before my dosage increased. It felt the same as 36mg), it is not really that big of an effect. It feels like being on caffeine all day. From research, I know that you shouldn't use a negative/low reaction to stimulants as a way to rule out an ADHD diagnosis, but surely it is relevant in a Bayesian sense, right?

Another thing is that I don't fit the stereotypical ADHD person. When I showed up, I was always able to focus in class, in boring meetings, etc. I was a "quiet" kid. I was always able to sit still in class and such and never really caused problems. Someone who can sit still and focus in class (if I couldn't, I wouldn't have been able to pass any classes given I basically never did homework or other assignments. My test grades saved me) does not really fit the ADHD image

I am seeking advice on how to fix a chronic, persistent, extreme lack of discipline.

I am currently 25, live with my mother, I have failed out of college (again) and I currently work part time at a grocery store for minimum wage within walking distance (I still don't have my driver's license). The reason I failed out of college both times was that I just didn't show up to class. When I did show up, I passed the exams with no real problem and I managed to pass a few classes with that. I have yet to tell my mother I failed the second time. I went to a 4 year college, failed out of that, then went to a 2 year community college. The only reason I managed to get a degree was that it was during COVID years, so the standards were super lax. I'm pretty sure I missed a few final exams, didn't hand in almost any assignments and yet somehow I still passed. After passing, I went back to the 4 year school and went back to failing.

I only have the job because, after I finished the 2 year degree, I didn't sign up for classes for the 4 year college in time, so I was doing nothing for months. My mother kept telling me to get a job since I wasn't in school and was threatening to kick me out if I didn't. She gave me multiple deadlines that I blew past with no consequence, but I could tell she was getting increasingly fed up. I ended up getting a job and I'm pretty sure if I waited a month or two longer, I would've been kicked out.

After the second time I failed, I decided to go to a therapist. She told me to see a psychiatrist for ADHD. He eventually said I have ADHD, and even though I am still quite skeptical of the diagnosis (for reasons I can go into if needed), I have been taking the Methylphenidate ER that I've been prescribed. I am only doing this because my mother has great insurance so all the therapists, doctors and medication is all paid for fully by insurance, but that will only last until I am 26 (close to a year from now). She also doesn't know I am going to a therapist, doctor or that I am taking any medicine.

With regards to my job, for reasons that I still do not know, I am able to go to my job without missing a day. I am almost always a few minutes late (anywhere from 0 to 10 minutes), but given the super low standards of a minimum wage job, I never get reprimanded in any way for it. But, I still always show up, unlike my school classes. This confusion is part of what prompted me to go to therapy. I have repeatedly tried to figure out why I am late and to fix it, but nothing really worked.

So, the question is: what do I do? Here is me listing all the options I can think of

  1. Continue going to therapy and seeing the psychiatrist. Both haven't been helpful so far (I've seen two therapists so far. the first abruptly told me she was leaving that practice. Both have been similarly effective), but maybe they just need more time. Hopefully, I will learn why I didn't go to class and fix that, then I will go back to school, finish my degree and get a job like "normal". My worry: it's been 3 months of this so far and I can't see any progress, so I am not too optimistic. Plus, I'm not sure I can hide me failing from my mother much longer and if she does find out, I'm pretty sure I will be kicked out. Maybe I need a new therapist? If it's not part of insurance, as all the good therapists seem to be, I don't think I'd be able to afford it with my minimum wage job. And, even though every therapist that doesn't take insurance says they offer it cheaper for people that find it hard to pay, I'm not sure I'd qualify since, even though I make little money, my mother makes decent money.

  2. Give up on college, give up on therapy, the psychiatry, the adhd medication and try to find a job with the 2 year degree I have. Hope that what happened with me not going to college doesn't happen at my new job. My worry: doing this without understanding why I failed in college seems very risky. I'm also not sure I can find a good enough job to move out with just a 2 year degree.

  3. Tell my mother. Hope she gives me another chance. But then what? What is my plan then? No idea. Plus, I am unsure I would even get another chance (or if I deserve one). I mean, would you give me one? I don't think I would.

  4. Continue working my dead end job. Eventually, my mother will figure out I failed, maybe she'll give me another chance, maybe not, eventually I get kicked out. (doom scenario)

Am I missing any options? What should I do? How do I fix this extreme lack of discipline? How do I fix this extreme laziness? Have you, or anyone you know, fixed this extreme lack of discipline? How?

If it matters, for context I live in the New York metropolitan area. Also, "kicked out" in this context doesn't mean me being homeless. I'm not 100% sure, but it probably means me either living with my dad, or my brother. However, if I don't solve my issues, they would probably kick me out eventually as well, and after that, who knows.