Gaashk
2mo ago
That's good this strategy has been working for you. People like being around other people who are bringing optimism and positive energy.
Not sure about the oozing charisma and power level stuff. Maybe there are some longer term goals you can use your newfound energy to work toward? Finding a longer term girlfriend with the new picking up chicks charisma? Some more durable community bonds from the goodwill evident in other people doing you favors? Maybe do them some favors back?
Gaashk
3mo ago
I'm not sure.
I was Evangelical as a teenage girl, so I got the teenage girl side of the conversation, where the advice was usually not to wear low cut tops unless you're, um, courting or something, but it was not well followed outside the very conservative homeschool groups I also participated in. As an adult, I've been Orthodox Christian, where they emphasize that flowy skirts and scarves and blouses are beautiful and dignified and fun to wear. I strongly prefer this approach. Female office wear is generally not very fun or beautiful, and I suppose the woman feels a bit better about her appearance in the low cut top than other options. It doesn't work super well on most figures, aesthetically, to do something like tucking a button up into trousers, because it just looks kind of drab. When I have to go into work in jeans and my official work t-shirt that's in a color that looks bad on me, I feel kind of irritable and like I don't want anyone to look at me all day. I don't know what women are supposed to wear in offices lately, but I'm pretty sure it includes a bra, anyway.
Gaashk
3mo ago
It makes sense to say that (many?) women't bodies are sexy, sure.
If someone says they're asexual, or heterosexual, or whatever other kind of sexual, that usually implies something about their preferences, not the viewer's. Oranges don't have preferences, so I'm not sure there's anything analogous that applies to them.
Gaashk
3mo ago
Indeed: men, and more specifically men's visual perceptions of women, are precisely why women's bodies are more sexual than men's. But...you do know you share a world with men?
No, that implies that men's visual systems are more inherently sexual than women's. I suppose it's reasonable to say that women's bodies are more commonly sexualized than men's.
That doesn't necessarily mean it's wise for women to go around topless or anything, of course.
Gaashk
3mo ago
Would I know if a man weren't wearing underwear? If he's wearing pants where strangers in public would notice the lack of underwear, the problem is probably with the outer garment.
Gaashk
3mo ago
As a married man however it's incredibly distracting, and I'm not allowed to talk about it.
Plenty of conservative religious groups talk about it all the time, including directly to the young women -- you could go spend time at one of their men's groups if you want to as well?
Gaashk
3mo ago
I haven't noticed that, but my area is a bit behind the trends, so I'm still seeing athleasure and wide trousers. I've seen a lot of advertisements this summer for built in bra tops, but have not yet tried them to see if they are in fact adequately supportive or not. Personally, I would wear it under a blouse unless it was really hot, but there's a heatwave this week.
Different women have different preferences for what is or isn't comfortable, and sometimes it can be challenging to find one that fits right, especially when buying online, vs going into a store to be measured.
I personally wear a bra even at home for comfort reasons, but I also wear long skirts and button up blouses at home for comfort reasons (rolling cuffs up and down), and feel depressed in things like hoodies and sweatpants, which doesn't seem super common.
Gaashk
3mo ago
It varies a fair bit.
As far as I can tell, my milk supply comes in kind of slow, but the babies' metabolisms boot up really fast, so they all lose more weight than expected, hurt my nipples, just absorb everything and don't poop, or in the case of this baby, he has accumulated too much bilirubin, and is now laying under blue lights for 12 hrs (related to the not pooping thing, and happened to another daughter as well). Then after about a week everything is fine. Others' experience may vary.
Sometimes babies have tongue tie, and need intervention, or sometimes there's a longer term issue with milk supply, but usually it's just sore breasts and cluster feeding for a couple of weeks, and then it gets easier. Most birthing units have lactation consultants who will look at what's going on and offer suggestions, which can be helpful.
Gaashk
3mo ago
I gave birth to a new baby. I have to, sigh, teach baby to nurse this week.
Gaashk
3mo ago
They do. That's what most of the initial American colonists were doing.
More recent ones that spring immediately to mind are L'Abrie (friend stayed there, founded by Francis Schaeffer), a bunch of Mormon towns, some Amish areas, and the community around St Innocent Academy in Kodiak.
As to why it isn't all that common anymore, some possibilities:
- people are suspicious of cults, because they've often found to be covering up negative behavior,
- the modern economy rewards living in larger cities
- modern cities forbid red lining practices, so it's mostly not legal to intentionally build a religious suburb that feels like a village. People also like ethnic neighborhoods, which modern cities also discourage. Much ink has been spilled over that.
Gaashk
3mo ago
I'm not really sure what you're going for here. Men seem to think all kinds of things about women, some of which is true of many women, and much of which is likely true of some women.
Gaashk
3mo ago
Yeah. If there were some big secret women were intentionally keeping from men, surely they wouldn't share it here.
Gaashk
3mo ago
The internet says he's gay married with adopted kids? That's its own problem from a conservative perspective (and I'm personally in favor of prioritizing married man and wife couples for adoption, since there's a shortage of adoptable children, and "well off, but your dads are in the public eye all the time" isn't a clear win for a child), but doesn't seem like the same problem.
Gaashk
3mo ago
Here's an article someone posted elsewhere: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c147yn4xxx4o
On Friday, Mr Vance said: “I wish her step-children and Kamala Harris and her whole family the very best. The point is not that she’s lesser. The point is that her party has pursued a set of policies that are profoundly anti-child.” Mr Vance made similar remarks against Democrats in a 2021 speech at the Intercollegiate Studies Institute, in which he also said his criticism was not directed at those who could not have children for biological or medical reasons.
I don't have a strong opinion.
On the one hand, it is in the national interest to be more positive about children, and influence more people to have more children, since we're below replacement levels of fertility throughout the wealthy industrialized world. I would be interested to hear Vance's thoughts on ways the government can encourage more children, especially children in stable, working households.
On the other hand, calling female senators who didn't have children a "bunch of childless cat ladies with miserable lives" doesn't sound good. It sounds like something to say on an anonymous message board, or to your good guy friend in private, but maybe dress it up or change the subject in public spaces?
Gaashk
3mo ago
I thought his position was that talking about race and IQ was a bad move strategically.
Gaashk
3mo ago
Probably, Trump doesn't think that choosing Vance will meaningfully/negatively change his odds of winning, and likes working with him. If somehow Trump were to be elected then forced out, Vance isn't much of an improvement from their enemies' point of view. The connection with Theil is probably relevant.
The people who are upset about Vance's religious and abortion related views are probably already upset about Trump's Supreme Court pick, which had more actual consequences, and were unlikely to vote for Trump anyway. I don't get the impression that Trump personally cares about religiously motivated conservatism, but a lot of the Republican base do, and will turn up to vote despite not liking how Trump comports himself morally because he does in fact deliver on SC and VP picks who are in line with their values.
FWIW, my in person friends like Vance a fair bit more than they like Trump, and are in the "didn't vote for Trump in 2016 but are planning to this year" camp.
Gaashk
3mo ago
a big bowl of raw fish
That's an odd way to do it. Most raw fish foods combine several different textures to compliment the distinctive raw fish texture.
I like ahi poke, but the sesame and soy marinade is pretty important, as are the fresh chips. Ceviche is also quite good, and also has a fair bit of marinade involved, and it's usually served on a tostada or something for crunch.
As for sushi rolls, they look nice, and have an interesting texture from combining soft and crunchy foods inside a band of chewy food. And, yes, they should be dipped in at least soy sauce, probably a bit of wasabi, and I'm a fan of eel sauce as well.
Gaashk
4mo ago
Everyone is currently participating in a story by a maximally sensationalist, pulpy writer. The cop was possessed by a demon, intent on causing a toxoplasmic event, and it has at least partially achieved its ends before moving on. The shamanistic religions are onto something about mentally unstable people picking up on psycho-spiritual forces.
Gaashk
4mo ago
I'm not necessarily looking at the moment, but I was underwhelmed the time I did try going to Toastmasters. That was mostly because I had spent some time before that in the Republic of Georgia, home of the best toasting parties and toast masters in the world, and it turned out that American Toastmasters was not going to train me to be one, which was where my interest lay. I went ahead and hosted some toasting feasts with a couple of friends anyway, and although I am a somewhat lame tamada, they were still much more what I wanted to do.
Maybe it's generational -- I have also heard that, and have also never talked to someone I hadn't previously been introduced to at a bar, so far as I can recall. This is not because I am personally off-putting; when I walk around outside in a village setting, I do end up talking with strangers. I have been offered drinks by strangers in rug shops and street corners, not in bars.
On that note, if you can get to them, the villages are a great place for talking with strangers! I've been salmon fishing with strangers despite having no equipment. I've been to some quite interesting holidays -- processing around churches, getting spoons and moose stew for Russian Christmas, a priest recounting deciding to believe in God after asking for and receiving a box of raisins, Gideon style, listening to elders talking about their dreams, singing at funeral wakes for people I didn’t know; lots of interesting stuff! Also folk dances and bonfires with strangers at the Saint John Orthodox Cathedral in Eagle River.
In general, going to holiday and religious events is an excellent way to meet strangers, usually free, and people aren't necessarily all that bothered whether visitors believe in their religion or not, as long as they aren't going on and on about how fake the religion is.
Gaashk
4mo ago
This also extends to student loans. While I still have antipathy for people that absolutely can grasp what they're signing, it's just obvious that many people really don't understand what they're signing up for and don't understand the basics of financing.
I've been trying to help someone figure out their student loan situation through the latest round of presidential office attempts to put various plans in place, and it just comes across as gambling at this point. We're both about as smart as the average non-technical collage graduate. First a bunch of people were saying to consolidate, because (reasons that I found rather obscure having to do with an executive order?). So they did that, but then the numbers fluctuated wildly for a while, and they got a bill for more than they've ever owed in their life. So they tried submitting some paperwork, which was ignored for a few weeks. Then they tried calling, and the person said they would put it on hold while the paperwork was processed, which might take three months or so, they weren't really sure. Meanwhile, there seems to be a bunch of law fare going on between the president's office and (states? banks? state created financial entities?). It doesn't seem so much like people are stupid, as that the system is wildly unstable, leading to a student loan decisions as gambling situation.
That sounds like a convincing argument against allowing bikes as vehicles on city streets.
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