FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
User ID: 1175
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
6hr ago
Two weeks ago, the winners of the 2026 edition of the Lyttle Lytton award were announced.
For those unfamiliar, the Lyttle Lytton award is a competition in which entrants are challenged to write the worst opening line to a novel they can think of, using no more than 200 characters. In addition to the competition itself, there's a "Found" division in which people submit lines from actual published work (not just novels, but also journalism and non-fiction).
Some personal favourites from this year's edition:
- It was 2016, the summer of Pokémon Go, but I was going nowhere.
- The year is 1353. The Black Death has unalived half of Europe.
- My hands trembled as I watched the emperor form his much steadier hand into the shape of a thumbs down emoji.
- “Oh Chat!” Vanessa wailed as she gazed upon the throbbing em dash which would soon be thrust into her sopping wet data centre.
- As she lustfully stared at me, my loins exploded like the Titan submersible, and she, the ocean I wanted to be so deep into.
- On my first mission I HALO jumped into Muhammad City, but was KIA (Kicked In Ass) by unfriendlies and had to exfil via helo.
- Joe, having finally bought a plane, could now travel everywhere! You know what else is everywhere? Your personal data. BlockMi can protect you from data brokers online. More on that later, back to Joe
- This fanfic was written and uploaded on the traditional homeland of the Anishinabe people.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
13hr ago
By shooting your shot I mean
I don't know Gen Z dating etiquette. It's just a play on words.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
18hr ago
I don't exactly like so-called "ugly Americans" throwing their weight around, being crass and acting flabbergasted by anything that's the slightest bit different from back home (just yesterday evening I had to run over to a carload of them and politely tell them that we drive on the left here – thank Christ I noticed before they got themselves into an accident). But I will say this in their defense: at least they're being authentic. I find the "preemptively apologising for being American" oikophobia routine even more insufferable, and insincere in exactly the same way Scott described in "I Can Tolerate Anything Except the Outgroup" – you're not apologising for being American, you're "apologising" for things the Red Tribe did in your name. What I find most irritating about it is that, for all their talk of how embarrassed they are by their nationality and how much they admire the European way of doing things, these people usually seem exactly as ignorant about the world beyond the stars and stripes as their "ugly American" brethren.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
19hr ago
I don't doubt your version of events, and the following advice may come off as condescending, but it would be remiss of me not to mention it anyway: in people of either sex, bitterness and self-pity are some of the least sexy traits going. No one is going to want to fuck you if you come off as bitter over past dating experiences, or feel sorry for yourself.
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Knowing it is one thing – acting on that knowledge is quite another.
I love root beer, but my fiancée thinks it's disgusting, comparing the taste to Deep Heat, a muscle relaxant cream. (Google tells me the American equivalent is called IcyHot.)
It's an entirely apt comparison: it does taste exactly like Deep Heat. But I still love it. Shame it's so hard to come by in Ireland. Part of me even wants to order a case of Barq's just for the novelty.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
1d ago
When I posted the comment, I didn't know she was 16 at the time.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
2d ago
What do you call it when you're debating whether to shoot your shot with a girl on Instagram, then you decide "fuck it, you only live once"?
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
2d ago
And no one thinks of "gang rape" as anything except a bunch of men violently raping a woman.
Or a group of men plying a woman with drink and drugs, then raping her after she passes out. And you were the one suggesting she might have agreed to have sex with them in exchange for drugs.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
2d ago
"Consensual" sex with a teenager is still statutory rape. Two men committing statutory rape with a teenager is gang rape. Statutory gang rape, if you will.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
2d ago
I see people smoking pipes quite often, but it's been a long time since I saw someone (other than my grandfather) using one to smoke tobacco.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
2d ago
Kind of an old one, but would Eric Garner qualify?
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
2d ago
I bought this milk frother during (or shortly before) Covid. I use it literally every day. One button, easy to clean, footprint is about the same as a large jamjar.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
2d ago
I don't understand how it accounts for such a large share of orders that it's a huge element in the service economy.
Because, you fool, any female born after 1993 can't cook.
(Joking aside, there's an appallingly large number of people who literally cannot cook themselves a single meal.)
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
2d ago
Matcha tastes like liquefied salmon to me. And not in a good way, even though I love salmon.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
3d ago
They didn't have sunscreen or dentists
Dentists aren't as important when tooth decay is almost a non-issue due to the limited quantities of sugar in one's diet.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
3d ago
IIRC Hinge doesn't have a "leftist" option.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
3d ago
I don't bother liking anyone with their Instagram listed or who's obviously too hot.
The first one I get. The second seems like selling yourself short. You know what they say about shooting for the moon.
FtttG
Gheobhaidh mé bás ar an gcnoc seo.
3d ago
Tried playing Rollerdrome, and while it is a lot of fun, it's more challenging than I expected, and I'm not really in the mood for a twitchy game with a time limit.
Instead, I fell off the wagon, and reinstalled XCOM 2 last night (didn't have a chance to play it though). God help me, I will beat it on Commander Ironman mode.
That's the plan, yes. I intend to reincorporate fried food into my diet once I've reached my target weight, but deep-fried food (which is pretty much synonymous with fast food, as I don't own a deep-fat fryer) should be a rarity.
Thanks for the advice. I consistently walk at least 10,000 steps most days (over the last six months my average was just over 11k/day), so I think I'm alright on that front.
I can drink as many caffeinated drinks as I want, but only one of those drinks can have milk in it.
Yeah, he acknowledged that in the commentary. It still made me laugh.
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